Surprises
by HR always live on
Summary: HR again. Set series five where Cotterdam doesn't exist. A wedge seems to have been driven between Harry and Ruth, and he wants to fix it but doesn't know how. Ruth drops a bombshell that she's pregnant, and the child isn't his... Chapter 16 is M rated, now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Struggling**** to come up with new HR ideas, and writing seems more difficult all of a sudden. Anyway, enjoy.**

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Harry pulled the blinds apart fraction and watched Ruth from the safety of his office. Where she wouldn't know he was watching. Harry sighed as he looked at her. These days she seemed much paler and more drawn than she used to. It was worrying him. A few times in the last two or three weeks it had been clear that she'd been crying before coming to work. He wished he was brave enough to ask her what was wrong, but he didn't want to be told it was none of his business. Or worse. Since Ruth had refused a second date with him she hadn't spoken to him about anything remotely personal. Her eyes would turn away from him and she would say nothing that wasn't related to work. Not that he had tried very hard, he admitted to himself. It almost broke his heart to see the wedge that had been driven between them. He had hoped that the conference at Havensworth would force something to happen, one way or another. But it hadn't.

Why was she so scared? They had shared one kiss after he had taken her home on that night they'd had dinner. One deep, knee shaking, passionate kiss which could have led to so much more. If it had been any other woman he probably would have initiated more. He wanted to, but he didn't want to scare her. He had thought that there would be time. So much time, but it seemed he'd been wrong.

It was the end of another day and he was going to shelve his pride and speak to her. No matter what he heard, it couldn't be worse than what he was imagining. He was about to find her when it proved unnecessary. The door opened (without a knock) and there Ruth stood, looking nervous and… maybe a little scared. Scared of him? The thought made his heart plummet.

"I need to talk to you," she said, biting her lip slightly.

"Sit down," he said calmly, even though calm was the last thing he felt.

"No. Thank you," she added. "I have a feeling you won't want me to stay."

"Ruth, what is it?" he asked quietly. "You can talk to me about anything. You've seemed very depressed lately. I'm worried about you."

"Harry, this isn't easy to say," she started. She took a deep breath and then looked into his hazel eyes. It didn't make it any easier but looking away would have been more than cowardly."I'm pregnant."

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**Not sure I hid that well! More soon when its written, in the meantime, I'd love a review. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, lots of great reviews for such a small chapter, so I'm treating you to another one tonight. Thank you! (Also, this has even less planning than usual so I'm just letting HR do what they want to. Hope it works...**

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Harry heard but couldn't take it in. She couldn't be pregnant. That would mean she'd slept with someone. She'd actually taken another man to her bed. And it couldn't have been long after they'd been to dinner. That had been less than two months ago. She hadn't wasted any time at all. How could she? Even saying no to him, he knew there were a lot of feelings between them, as clear as day. Or maybe that was the problem. There _had been_ feelings between them. Past tense. Clearly no longer.

"Harry will you say something?" she asked desperately. He hadn't moved a muscle except widening his eyes and she knew a thousand thoughts must be running through his mind. But she couldn't read even one on his face.

"Are you keeping it?" he asked in a hushed voice. She nodded. She'd already made that decision which is why she was now telling Harry. Whatever had been between them, he deserved to find out before everyone else. It would be unfair for him only to discover it when she was carrying around a large bump. "Okay… um… whose is it? Actually never mind. Its none of my business. Clearly." Ruth felt her face flush vividly, but she deserved it and she knew it.

"Harry, believe me, there is nothing you could tell me or think about me that I haven't already told myself a hundred times."

"Ruth, its none of my business. We aren't together, due to your choice. You're free to do what you want. I should have expected you to move on to someone else. Eventually." She heard the unspoken criticism in his voice rather than his words. She heard him thinking "how could you move on so quickly?" as clearly as if he'd spoken it. And he didn't mean it anyway. He had assumed that Ruth wouldn't rush off with someone else and would wait for the pair of them to get their act together. And that with a bit of time she would see that what people gossiped about them mattered so little and she'd give them a proper chance. Not now.

"I owe you an explanation," she said, leaning on the chair, but still not sitting down. Harry shook his head, now looking at his desk rather than her and she knew that her words would either bounce off of him or be shouted back at her. Neither was an appealing prospect and wouldn't benefit either of them in the long run.

"Harry, I'm going home," she said sadly. "When this has… sunk in… and you want or need to talk to me just call me." He nodded once and she knew that he wouldn't say anything further to her tonight. So she bit her lip to keep from crying and left his office, closing the door quietly behind her. She didn't linger on the grid, instead she went home as fast as she could. To go home and think about the mess of her personal life.

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Ruth lay on her bed still fully dressed, her room illuminated only by the bedside lamp. All she'd taken off when she got home were her coat and her shoes. Then she had lain on her bed deep in thought, wishing a solution to all of her problems would magically appear, no matter how unlikely. Telling Harry that she was carrying another mans child had been one of the most difficult things she'd done. She knew that he still had hope for them and she'd gone and crushed that. She hadn't wanted to, more than anything in the world she wanted a relationship with Harry, but the truth needed to come out. He wouldn't have any interest in her now, and she couldn't blame him. Every time he looked at her, he would see that she'd been unfaithful to him. Even though they hadn't been in a relationship in any way, that is what it felt like to her.

Fidget came slinking into the room and jumped up on the bed, sitting on Ruth's stomach without so much as a greeting meow. Ruth smiled and stroked the cat absent mindedly. He purred contentedly but wouldn't move from Ruth's stomach. This odd behaviour had started about three weeks ago. After it didn't stop it occurred to Ruth that her period was late. Sure enough she discovered she was pregnant, and it seemed ridiculous that her cat had known before she did. But she could think of no other explanation why Fidget had suddenly used her stomach as a new perch. Maybe cats really were intelligent creatures after all. Suddenly her doorbell rang. Ruth picked up the protesting cat, put him on her bed and hurried downstairs. She opened the door and felt her breath catch when she saw Harry. He wasn't exactly unexpected but his presence still made her nervous.

"Harry," she breathed before she even realised it. "You should come in."

He did and they hovered in the hall before Ruth led the way to the kitchen and Harry followed in silence. Ruth held up a whisky bottle in question and Harry nodded. Ruth poured him one before she got herself an orange juice.

"Thank you," he said, his voice guarded and wary as he cradled the whisky glass.

"I'm glad you're here," she said in little more than a whisper.

"I only have one question for you," Harry said, his tone still harsh and is eyes hiding his emotions. "Do you love him?"

"God no!" Ruth said before she could stop herself. There was silence in the kitchen and he was waiting for her to continue. But he wouldn't push her if she didn't want to speak. She had to confide in him in her own time. "As much as I hate the term Harry… It was a one night stand. Which if I'm being brutally honest didn't do anything except make me feel dirty and cheap."

"Oh Ruth…" His voice had suddenly changed, losing the hard detached quality it had before. She met his hazel eyes which were now looking at her, not with warmth but with honesty. She instinctively knew that her loving another man was what he most feared without him having to say another word. How could she love another man? When her heart was already given to him. "If you can… if you want to, tell me what happened."

"Its not even complicated," Ruth said, shaking her head to herself. "Its sordid and cheap, but not complicated. One night I realised I'd been an idiot. Saying no to you because of what others thought was stupid. It came to me suddenly and clearly that I had made a massive mistake. I didn't even have work to take my mind off of my stupidity because we were preparing for Havensworth and it was all boring paperwork. So that night when I miraculously got off work at five, I did something I hadn't done since my student days. I went to a bar to drown my sorrows and get drunk."

Harry looked at her in disbelief and she smiled. "Ruth, you are not the type of woman to go to a bar and drink yourself into oblivion because you've had a bad day."

"Well I have a human failing Harry," she said sadly. "And the reason I don't do it became crystal clear to me the next morning. I lose all my inhibitions when I've had a drink."

"I'll remember that," Harry interrupted, a light in his eyes making Ruth's face blush. When her red cheeks faded she thought about his words.

"That knowledge won't come in useful until I've had the baby," Ruth said quietly. "I don't know if you'll want to be here that long. And I can't ask you to either." He didn't reply to that because he didn't know what to say. He'd given it a little bit of thought, but not in a practical sense. He hadn't assumed that Ruth would want him around. Had thought that this mystery man would be taking that role. It didn't seem so now.

"Who was it?" Harry asked.

"Charles Taylor," Ruth said. "I looked into him on the grid once I'd sobered up and realised what a fool I'd been."

"And?" Harry asked as he realised Ruth wasn't going to volunteer more. He couldn't help it, he had to know.

"And I need another word for stupid," she said raising her eyebrow before continuing. "48, an investment banker and very, very married. Seems to go out picking up women every weekend behind his wife's back. I was just one of many conquests, although why he chose me I don't know." Harry refrained with difficulty from telling her that any man would want her because she was beautiful. "Anyway, I let myself out the morning after feeling awful and I wanted to forget about it. Fate wouldn't let me."

"Can I ask… why did you decide to keep it?" Ruth didn't answer straight away and Harry thought he'd gone too far. "Don't answer if I'm prying."

"Its not that," Ruth said honestly. "Its just painful to remember." Harry waited as it was clear she was lost in some memory. And by the frown on her forehead, it wasn't pleasant.

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**Hope I'm keeping them IC. More soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ten days ago.**

Ruth had done a lot of research into Charles Taylor once she'd discovered she was pregnant. She'd felt very scared when she found out for several reasons. Having a baby like this had never been part of her plans, and carrying a baby that wasn't Harry's… well, it would mean the end of whatever their relationship was. She could get rid of it and no one would know. She could have an abortion and kill her child. Even the thought was distasteful. But what option did she have? Keep an unplanned baby? With the hours she worked that was ridiculous. But on the other hand she'd always wanted children. And she was getting up in years too. How many more chances would she have to bear her own child? She answered her own question with not many. Also, if she did get rid of this child there was no guarantee that things with Harry would ever progress. That she'd ever have him the way she wanted to.

But before she made a decision, she needed to talk to Charles. No matter how uncomfortable and distasteful it would be. At the very least he deserved to know, even if he was a cheating philanderer. And it was her fault, just as much as his. She never should have slept with him in the first place.

Which is how she found herself waiting outside his door on Friday afternoon. Not his house, his cheap and tacky flat that he rented for his indiscretions. Ruth felt completely humiliated that she was one of them, She only knew he was there because she'd watched the grid's CCTV to find out. She rang the bell and waited. Quickly he answered it and looked at her with a frown.

"Ruth? What are you doing here?"

God, she really must have been hammered to give him her real name. "I need to talk to you," she said simply.

"Now? Its not a good time," he said, already making his excuses.

"Charles, please."

"Ruth…"

"I'm pregnant." He stared at her in astonishment.

"Look, do you want money or something?" he said, not believing her. "You don't have to lie."

"I'm not a whore!" she said, hating him in that moment more than she thought possible. "Never mind. I knew this was a mistake." She turned and walked down the street and was surprised to see him coming after her. He grabbed her arm and made her face him.

"You're really… pregnant?"

"Yes."

"You're going to get rid of it right?" he said. Even angry as she was she could sense the desperation in him.

"What, so your wife won't find out?" she said sharply. He at least had the grace to look ashamed.

"You have to get rid of it," he said urgently. "I can't have a baby! You have to have an abortion!"

"I don't have to do anything I don't want to do," Ruth countered, more furious than she'd expected to be as she wrenched her arm away from his grip. "Forget it. It was a mistake talking to you. Just forget it. I don't expect anything, you're off the hook."

"My wife can't find out," he said desperately.

"Charles, please." She looked into his eyes for a moment, very struck that they looked nothing like the hazel ones she longed to see. "Forget it. You will never have to see me again." She walked away and was not called back, much to her relief. When she got in her car, she knew what she was going to do.

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Back in the present Ruth looked at Harry who was waiting for an answer while gripping hold of his whisky glass for dear life. "Its far from ideal. To find myself pregnant like this, and I did think about having an abortion. On the other hand, I might not get another chance to have a child. I'm nearly thirty seven, the chances are slim." She sighed. "Before I decided anything I wanted to talk to him. Which didn't go well."

"What did he say?" Harry asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"First he thought I was lying to get money out of him." Ruth smiled at the look of disgust on Harry's face. "Then he insisted I have an abortion. I walked away. When I drove home, thinking about it, I realised how much I didn't want to get rid of this baby. That's the reason essentially."

"Thank you for telling me," Harry said. Silence spread in the kitchen. "Have you eaten?"

"What?" she asked, thrown by the change of subject. "No, I haven't. I just came home and did nothing much until you arrived."

"You need to eat," he said firmly. "I'll cook you something. What've you got?" He got up and without being asked opened the fridge.

"But… why aren't you leaving?" she blurted. He turned to her.

"Do you want me to?" he asked suddenly.

"No, of course not," she replied. "I just assumed you'd leave."

Harry looked at her, letting the fridge door swing shut. "Ruth, I came over here with the intention of finding out whether you were in love with someone else," he said lowly. "I thought… that anything else I could cope with. So what do you want to eat?"

Ruth smiled at him and realised that there was more to Harry Pearce than she had previously guessed. And her opinion of him had already been high.

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**Thank you for the reviews :-) Also thanks to TheChicaChic, who's given me some more ideas for fics in the future. Hope this was okay.**


	4. Chapter 4

Throughout the next week Ruth felt like she'd been completely wrong footed. Harry had not reacted the way she'd expected at all, and it made her feel strange. Like she'd completely misjudged him. At work things went on just as they had, but his eyes lingered on her slowly. Neither of them had mentioned the baby again and it shocked her that he hadn't thrown it at her. It had only been a week, but it didn't seem to bother him. Or if it did he was hiding it well. On Monday Ruth needed to speak to him, as her boss. She needed an afternoon off for her first scan. She was nervous about bringing it up with Harry for no reason that he'd given her.

"What is it?" Harry asked as Ruth closed the office door. "You've got the look of a rabbit caught in headlights."

"I need the afternoon of the sixteenth off," she said. "I… I have my first scan."

"Oh, of course," Harry said. "Don't worry, I'll sort it."

"Thank you," Ruth said. She turned to leave and was almost at the door when Harry spoke.

"Would you like me to come with you?"

"What?!" Ruth spluttered, turning to him.

"I asked if you'd like me to come with you," he said calmly, getting up from his chair and walking nearer to her.

"You can't," she said simply. "You can't be there for me like this. As much as I hate to say it, this isn't your child. I can't ask for you to be there when I need someone. Its too much for you to do."

"Ruth, stop blabbing," Harry said firmly. He put both hands on her shoulders and she looked at him. His hazel eyes were hypnotic and she wished he wouldn't look at her this way. It made it hard to think straight. "I want to be there for you. And the baby. I care about you too much to just ignore you. As if there was nothing between us, because that's a lie."

"Harry, I'm carrying another mans child," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "I do have feelings for you, you know I do. But I cannot… torture you like this. Its cruel and unfair to you."

"Ruth, I've had a lot of time to think about this," he said. "The fact you're pregnant and what it means for… us."

"Harry…"

"Let me finish," he said. "You've made a stupid mistake. We all make mistakes Ruth. I've made more than most. It… hurts me to think of you in bed with another man. But I still want you. I want to be the one who cares for you and looks after you. And if you'll let me, look after the little one."

"Why would you do that?" she asked, completely bewildered and more than a little moved.

"You know why," he said, his hand reaching up to cradle her face. He leaned in to kiss her but she backed away a fraction.

"Harry, this… it isn't going to be easy."

"Its us," he said with a lopsided smile. "It was never going to be easy." He leaned in and pressed his lips to her cheek softly. "Ruth, I can't give up on you. It's that simple." Still she didn't say anything and she looked rather shocked. "So if you want me to come with you to your scan, let me know." That seemed to jolt her out of her thoughts and she nodded, a smile on her face as she left his office. She would need to think about it, of course she would. She was Ruth after all. But Harry could see the irony. With their relationship she always needed to think about every little thing. And yet with someone else she'd rolled into bed with him after no thought at all. Maybe he just should have got her drunk and picked her up in a bar, he thought wryly. Then he shook his head to clear the thought because it wasn't what he wanted. When he made love to her, he wanted her to be fully aware with no regrets. Not drowning in alcohol leaving her nothing but blurry memories.

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**I feel this was a bit soon, but Harry wasn't going to be argued with. I think the next chapter is going to delve into each of their thoughts, why Harry decided to support Ruth in her unplanned pregnancy. Hope this was okay, and thank you for the reviews so far. :-)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, I know it's been a while, so the plan I had for this chapter has vanished. I seem to have lost the notes I had somewhere in the depths of my computer hard drive, so I hope this is okay instead.**

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That night Harry was sitting on the sofa, a historical piece on TV which he wasn't really watching and a large whisky in hand. As was usual of nights of late he resorted to his most common activity of thinking of Ruth. He didn't like the fact she was pregnant with another mans child, not one bit. But he couldn't hold it against her, the fact that she'd slept with someone, even thought the thought of her being physical with another man made him feel awful. In his time he had slept with a lot of women he regretted and he knew what it was like to simply crave a little human contact. Or want some brief, no strings attached sex, and he'd had his fair share of that. It would be critical of him to say that she was unforgivable when he'd done just the same in the past. Or worse actually, because his one night stands had been cheating on his wife, and Ruth knew that. It wasn't a secret, everyone in the security services knew about his previous philandering. And Ruth had been able to forgive him. She deserved the same courtesy at the very least. Especially as they hadn't been together in the first place.

It did bother him that she was carrying another mans child, but oddly not as much as he'd expected it to. He'd expected to be filled with an anger and fury so intense that he wouldn't be able to think of anything else. To be filled with rage, but he wasn't. For a couple of days he'd thought of nothing but Ruth in bed with this faceless stranger, imagined her face in ecstasy while her limbs wrapped around this man who had replaced him. It had hurt incredibly to think of that, and he knew for a fact his imagination was showing a clearer image of the event than Ruth could even remember. She'd told him herself that she'd been drunk and it was a blur. He knew these imaginings would haunt him for many days and months to come, but to his relief it wasn't all he could think about. A certain flash of an image would come to him suddenly before he could push it away. But it only lasted a few seconds, and as the days slipped by it was getting less often. And it had only been 2 weeks since he'd discovered her pregnancy. This boded well for him being able to move past it with time. He believed he would, which is why he knew that soon he would be able to move past it and give a relationship with Ruth a proper try.

No, the thing he thought of when he thought of Ruth's pregnancy was the solitary image of her clutching her newborn baby to her breast. Her face exhausted but beautiful, her eyes glowing with happiness at her baby. The sunlight was shining in through the hospital window as her son or maybe her daughter gurgled gently. Boy or girl, her child had a mess of almost black hair and luminous bright blue eyes which were fixed on its mother. Harry leaned against the door frame and Ruth heard him. She looked up and smiled at him as he came in.

Just about there his fantasy ended. He couldn't seem to picture more, which he supposed was because he had no idea how his and Ruth's relationship would be in seven or so months time. He hoped he'd be in a position to kiss her hello and maybe even hold her child if Ruth would allow it. A man could dream.

He swallowed the remains of his whisky just before the doorbell rang. He poured himself another whisky quickly and then answered it. "Ruth? Are you all right?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "It's cold. Can I come in?"

"Of course," he said, moving aside. She went into the lounge and Harry followed. Seeing the bottle of whisky and the glass she turned back to him.

"How many have you had?"

"Just one. Why?" he asked as he sat on the sofa

"Because I only want to say this once," she said, sitting down opposite him. "I've had all the experience of drunk men I want to have."

"What do you want to say?" he asked, not replying to that because he knew it was true, even though it wasn't his fault.

"If you want to," she said slowly. "If you would like to come to my scan, I would like you there," she said. "But."

"But what?"

"I know this baby is my fault, and not yours. I know that," she said. "But I cannot have you holding it against me everyday of my life, and especially not against the baby. It isn't his or her fault." She sniffed and Harry could tell she was near to tears. "I know how much I'm asking of you, and I understand if you can't do it, of course I do. I can't even believe I am asking this of you." She looked at the floor and sighed. "Maybe it was a mistake, me coming her tonight. But after what you said at work I thought… I don't know." She took in two deep and shaky breaths. She felt Harry's warm thumb brush her tears away and she looked into his warm eyes with a weak smile.

He knelt on the floor, looking up at her, his hand staying on her cheek. "Ruth, I promise you I will take things slowly," he said. "Whatever you want and need from me."

"Thank you," she said. "If you're ever mad or angry with me… promise you'll talk to me. Not bottle it up and then yell at me in the middle of an argument, because I don't want that."

"Fine," he said. He knew he had to reassure her because he could sense that she'd spent the last few hours working herself up into a state, braving herself for this conversation.

"I'd also like to keep this away from the grid," she said. "Its not that I don't want people to know," she added. "But as we work together I think it'd be better if we kept our personal life at home. At least for the moment."

"Ruth, I'm not a fool," he said. "I am not going to advertise our private life. Its no one's business but ours."

She nodded. "Why are you doing this? I'm such a mess at the moment. You'll have to take on so much to be with me."

"Ruth, I've made my fair share of stupid mistakes," he said. "And you know that too. I like you, I really do. And I am attracted to you as well, but its more than that. I want to be there for you and with you. In this instance, it is that simple." The truth was that he loved her desperately, but he guessed that would scare her, so he kept it inside.

"I don't deserve you," she said.

"None of that," he said firmly. He ran his thumbs across her eyelashes, removing the remnants of her tears. She smiled at him. "Can I kiss you?"

"If you want to kiss a crazy woman," she said, her voice low. He smiled and leaned in. He made sure to keep the kiss purposefully light, just brushing her lips. He didn't want to push her too fast. When he parted from her she was smiling. "Thank you," she said. "I should go home."

"Okay," Harry said. "Take care. And call me if you need anything."

"I will," she said. "I promise. Bye Harry." She kissed his cheek once, her hand running across his light stubble before she let him go. Harry wasn't entirely sure he hid the way his heart leapt but he did his best.

"See you at work tomorrow," he said. She nodded before she left and closed the door with a quiet click. Leaving Harry with a smile on his face.

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**I couldn't write Harry mad or angry at Ruth, I just couldn't do it! So I hope his reaction is almost realistic, even though I think its probably impossible for a man to react this way to a woman carrying another mans child. But hey, its fiction so I can do what I want right?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the great reviews. I dare say Harry will probably have a loss of faith and get mad at some point later, but I'm going to let it all go its own sweet way for the moment. Enjoy.**

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Over the next week Ruth barely had the chance to speak to Harry. They were dealing with a terror attack on the London eye and the perpetrators had managed to escape. It had taken nearly seven days and endless hours of overtime to catch them, but they had caught them. Harry had only spoke to Ruth once when it wasn't about the operation. He'd called her through to his office at ten in the evening.

"Go home."

"No, I can't," she said instantly. "I have to run the face recognition to see who of Clyde's associates are involved if any."

"I don't care," he said firmly. "And from my perspective you can get as little sleep as you like. It doesn't bother me. But I'm thinking about the little one. You need rest for the baby."

"You can't give me special treatment because I'm pregnant," she said, her face softening to him in spite of herself.

"It's not special treatment," he said. "If Jo or Ros were pregnant I'd tell them the same thing. I may be someone who overworks his staff but I don't neglect babies." Ruth rolled her eyes. "Go home. Sleep."

"Fine," she said. "But I expect your next pregnant member of staff to get the same treatment I am."

"Agreed," he said. She reached across the desk and squeezed his hand gently before she got her coat and left the grid.

That had been the last non work related conversation they'd had and it was the sixteenth. The day of her scan. She hovered in the doorway looking at Harry as he took his coat off for the day. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, making up her mind not to bring it up. It didn't matter in the grand scheme of things after all.

"Ruth, what time is your appointment?" he asked as she turned to leave.

"Er… three," she said. "I thought you'd… forgotten."

"No of course not," he said. "Do you want us to leave separately for the hospital? From here, so people don't talk?"

Ruth thought about it for a moment. Then she shook her head. "No, its fine," she said. "They'll say whatever they want to anyway."

"Good," he said, pleased with this development. "I'll see you later then."

"Great," she said. "I'll have the report on Robert Leyster done this morning."

"Take your time," he said as she left his office. He watched her take her seat and switch her computer on and smiled at her, he couldn't help it.

* * *

"You called?" Adam said, walking into his office.

"Yes," Harry said putting his coat on. "I have to go out for about an hour and I would really appreciate it if I wasn't disturbed. So can you handle everything here? I won't be too long."

"Sure Harry," Adam said. "Is there a problem?"

"No, its nothing operational," he said. "Don't worry."

"Okay Harry," he said. "By the way, Ruth mentioned that she had the afternoon off."

"Yes?"

"Well I wondered…"

"Don't wonder," Harry said forcefully. "Ruth is a private person and what she does in her own time is her own business."

"Okay Harry, calm down. It was only a suggestion. It doesn't matter. Everything will be fine here until you get back."

"Good." Harry left his office and caught Ruth's eye. She smiled slightly and inclined her head, picking up her bag. They didn't speak until they were out of Thames House, even though they walked side by side through the pods and through the hallways. Ruth knew that Jo was most likely discussing her and Harry's relationship but right now she had other things to worry about and concentrate on.

Harry drove them to the hospital and opened the car door for her, making her smile.

"How are you?" he asked in the car.

"Tired," she said firmly. "And sick of being sick. Morning sickness really… You don't want to hear about it Harry."

"You're probably right," he said with a smile. She smiled back.

"I just really hope that I won't have to put up with it for nine months," Ruth said. "It'll kill me."

"You're stronger than you'll ever admit," he said. "I know that for a fact." She rolled her eyes. "Would you like to have dinner with me on Friday night?"

"Yes," she said, a bright smile on her face. "I would like that."

"Great. I'll book somewhere in then. Any preference?"

"No," she said quietly. "Anywhere you like is fine."

"Okay," he said. They were silent as he pulled into the hospital car park and he looked at her for a moment. "Are you nervous?"

"Yes," she said sincerely. "What… what if the doctor tells me there's something wrong with the baby? What'll I do then?"

"Ruth, do you have any rational reason to think there's a problem?"

"Well… no, but…"

"No," he said firmly. "No buts. If you worry about everything that could possibly go wrong with your child you'll never think of anything else. Trust me."

She took a deep breath and nodded because he was right. Harry squeezed her hand and kissed the back of it making her smile. "Come on."

* * *

They walked through to the consultation room and Harry could tell Ruth was nervous. He held her hand as Doctor Stevens introduced herself. She shook Ruth's hand and then turned to Harry. "And I assume this is the father."

"Er no," Harry said.

"Harry's a friend," Ruth said.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed," the doctor said. "Nice to meet you anyway." Harry nodded in agreement as Ruth sat on the examination table, perched on the edge.

"So Ruth, have you had any problems so far?" the Doctor asked.

"Apart from awful morning sickness, no," Ruth said. "I would really like you to tell me that is going to pass."

"It might," the doctor said unhelpfully. "It probably will."

"God I hope so," she said fervently.

"Right, I'm going to check your blood pressure and then get the ultrasound working okay?" the Doctor said. Ruth nodded and rolled her shirt sleeve up so the doctor could put the blood pressure cuff on her.

"Okay, this is looking good. Well within normal limits." The doctor got the machine working and said, "If you'd like to lift your shirt for me please?"

Ruth did while Harry averted his eyes. She noticed and smiled at him. He could be a perfect gentleman when he chose to be. When the gel was put on her stomach Harry did look and noticed a slightly pronounce curve to her stomach. He thought it was new, but never having seen her naked before, it might simply be the shape of her body. A loud and quick thumping interrupted his thoughts. "Right, that's your baby's heartbeat," the doctor said.

"It's awfully quick," Ruth said as Harry held her hand tightly. "Should it be that fast?"

"Yes, that's perfectly healthy. Small things have a rapid heartbeat. Have you ever heard a hummingbirds?"

"Oh yeah, it's like a hum," Ruth said. "So this is good? He's healthy?"

"The foetus looks about the right size for nine weeks," the doctor said nodding.

"Eight," Ruth interrupted. The doctor stared at her and she blushed. "There was only… one," she said, her face flaming. "Only one time it could have happened."

"Oh," the doctor said in surprise. "If you don't mind me asking what was the conception date?" Harry didn't think it was possible for her face to go any redder but it did. It would have been humorous if he hadn't thought about what the subject was.

"19th January," she said quietly. The doctor made a note on her clipboard before turning back to the machine.

"That's great thank you," she said.

"It's all right," Harry said in a low voice, knowing she was embarrassed. He didn't like thinking about it, but this was medical and the doctor needed the information. The doctor turned the screen around so they could see the baby. The doctor pointed at the screen.

"That's the baby's head right there. All in all it looks very healthy."

"No problems?"

"No, none at all detected at this stage," the doctor said with a smile. Ruth turned to Harry and saw him smiling at the screen. He could have been resentful and angry. Mad, upset, furious. A dozen emotions which wouldn't be good to experience, but he had every right to feel. And yet he was looking at her baby, fathered by another man and he was smiling. Both at her and at the screen. She could scarcely believe it.

"You are an incredible man," she said, taking her eyes off of her child and looking into his hazel eyes.

"Focus on the baby," he said, smiling at her. "You can look at my old face any time you want." She looked at the baby, but to be honest it looked more like a misshapen blob than a child. She was relieved and grateful that there was nothing wrong with her child and that it was healthy, but right now she seemed to appreciate Harry more than she ever had before.

"Can I have a picture please?" she asked the doctor. Doctor Stevens nodded and pushed some buttons on the machine. While the doctor was distracted Ruth turned to Harry and pulled him close. She kissed him lightly, softly and so wonderfully.

"You don't have to do that Ruth," he said quietly.

"Yes I did," she said. "Because I wanted to." He kissed her quickly once more as the doctor gave her the picture.

"Thank you," Ruth said.

* * *

**More soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

Harry drove her home after her appointment, and she didn't even realise that they weren't going back to the grid until the car stopped. She tore her eyes away from the picture of her baby and looked around. "We're not going back to work?"

"I am," he said. "You are resting at home."

"Harry, you can't just…"

"I can and I have," he said firmly. "You've been looking at your child the entire way home, you're not in a fit state to work."

"There's nothing wrong with my state," she said acidly.

"I know that," he said. "Look, I'm being stubborn and putting my foot down. Stay at home. You're not needed for a bare hour of work. And I want you to look at your child like you obviously want to."

"It's just a lump," Ruth said, her eyes going to the picture again. "I mean, you can see the head but otherwise it just looks like a misshapen lump. But I know that's my baby. That's my child."

"It is," Harry agreed.

"God I'm sorry," she said. "I know this must be hard for you. A permanent reminder that I… slept with another man."

"Ruth," he said firmly. "I hate the fact you slept with another man. I hate it. And being brutally honest, I do think about you with someone else. And it hurts." She sighed and looked at her hands. "But no matter how little or how much that bothers me, and sometimes it does Ruth… I can't hate you. I never could. You and I both know you made a mistake."

"Yes," she agreed. "A big one."

"But I am not a stranger to mistakes either," he said. "And I know regret too. Whatever else, I don't want to regret missed chances with you."

"Thank you," Ruth said. "You are a very kind and forgiving man."

"Not usually," he said. "Usually I don't forgive anyone. But you it seems are an exception."

"Harry…" She decided that she simply didn't know what to say. So she leaned over him and kissed him, not caring about the implications for their relationship, just enjoying it. It was a deeper kiss than they'd yet shared and she found that he was a good kisser. The type of kisser that made her wish he'd never let go and long for more. She knew instinctively that he'd be good at everything else too. _Everything_. No Ruth, that's a dangerous line of thought. She pulled back from him, her heart racing and she put her hand on his tie, straightening it.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said quietly, her voice shaking slightly.

"Yes," he agreed. "Tomorrow. Goodnight." She nodded and he watched as she went in the house, making sure she got inside okay. Then he drove back to the grid, Ruth's kiss which was full of honesty still on his lips.

* * *

Harry sat at the restaurant worrying. Ruth was a minute late, and Ruth didn't do late. Harry wondered if she'd changed her mind and was anxious, this was unlike her. Suddenly his phone rang. Feeling a sense of foreboding he answered it.

"Ruth?"

"Hi Harry," she said. "Look, I'm so sorry," she said. "I don't mean to be late but… I thought my morning sickness had gone. Apparently it waited twelve hours to kick in today. I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry," he said, trying to hide his disappointment. "Do you want me to wait or shall we do this another time?"

"I'm sorry," she said which was answer enough.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "Just… try and feel better."

"Sorry Harry," she said again. "I have to go… I'm going to… I just… Bye."

"Bye," he said, knowing that she was going to throw up again. He sighed and put a fiver down on the table for the drink he'd already had and left the restaurant. Then he got an idea.

* * *

Ruth rinsed her mouth out and then looked in the mirror. She looked very rough. "Oh baby, you've got really bad timing," she said, one hand on her stomach. "Next time I have a date with Harry, can you avoid making me throw up? I'd appreciate it." Her doorbell rang and she went downstairs. Opening the door she was surprised to see Harry there, in an open necked shirt, dark jacket and a glint in his eye. Ruth looked at herself and felt horribly under dressed She wore a baggy jumper and some PJ bottoms, her hair tangled with slight dark circles under her eyes. Did he have to pick now to ring her doorbell?

"I have supplies," Harry said, lifting a shopping bag that she hadn't noticed. "I thought I could cook you dinner, if my presence is welcomed?"

"Yes of course," she said, moving aside and letting him in. "You don't have to cook for me."

"I know," he said. "I want to. And an evening spent in your company is a lot more comforting than one on my own."

"Well make yourself at home," she said. "I'm just going to get changed into something… less comfortable and more attractive."

"Don't on my account," he said a smirk on his face. She rolled her eyes and went upstairs, hurrying to look more presentable. She brushed her hair and put a short sleeved blouse on, which didn't draw attention to her slowly growing stomach. She also put some jeans on because they were more comfortable than her skirts with her changing body shape. She looked in the mirror and quickly applied some make up under her eyes. She didn't want to look like something the cat had dragged in.

It took about seven minutes and by the time she got downstairs she found Harry at the cooker, drinking some wine from a glass. He smiled at her appearance. "Dinner will be about half an hour, I hope curry's okay with you?"

"Sounds delicious," she said honestly. "Can I do anything?"

"Sit down," he said. "And have a drink." She looked at the wine glass already sat on the table and felt her heart stop for a moment. She couldn't have any alcohol, she thought he might have remembered that. Then she felt selfish because she was sure he had a thousand things on his mind, not just her. "It's not booze," he said without turning as if reading her mind. "I got some alcoholic free wine. Drink." She did, warily at first but then saw that he was right.

"Thank you," she said quietly. He smiled at her, and then returned to cooking their meals.

* * *

"That was delicious Harry," she said, smiling at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said. "Just glad you're feeling better."

"Yes I am," she said. Harry got up to clear their plates but Ruth stopped him, her hand on his chest. Her eyes were burning and he dipped his head towards her, kissing her passionately. Ruth smiled into the embrace and was startled but pleased when she felt his hands start to wander. He pushed his hand under her shirt and his fingertips traced her body, making her heart race. His hand cupped her breast and in that moment Harry had a flash of an image in his mind. Another man touching her. A different man kissing her and making love to her. He pulled away from her and closed his eyes, flashes of those horrifying images going through his mind, as if on a video reel.

"Harry?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I can't. I thought I could cope with this. But I can't."

Ruth's face was such a picture of sadness that he felt guilty. "I understand," she said softly. "I wish I didn't but I do."

"I'm sorry, I just… I touch you, and I think of him." Ruth closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at his disappointment. After a minute or two she opened her eyes, and they were swimming with tears. "Ruth… I want to be with you, but I just…"

"Can't," Ruth finished for him. She gripped his hand tightly. "I know," she said, her voice no more than a whisper.

"I should go," he said, trying not to let his voice break. "I will see you at work." He straightened up and put his jacket on.

"Is this it Harry?"

"I think it might be," he said. "I'm so sorry."

"No, its not your fault," she said quietly. "Can we… still be friends? I don't want to lose you."

Harry smiled tightly at her and nodded. "Of course," he said. "You're one of the most intelligent and genuine women I've ever known. I will see you on Monday."

Ruth nodded and stayed quiet until she heard the door close behind him. Then she very quietly and thoroughly fell to pieces.

* * *

**Well it had to happen sooner or later! Please leave a review if you have time, thank you.**


	8. Chapter 8

**It's been pointed out to me that I've given you a slightly depressive chapter for Valentines day. So I'm putting another one up. Hope it's enjoyed, and thank you for the great response to the last chapter.**

* * *

Ruth had managed to pull herself together in time for work on Monday morning. She didn't blame Harry in the slightest. She blamed herself. But then again she was torn between total regret about what had happened, and looking forward to the prospect of being a mother. The shock had worn off and she knew this was her chance at motherhood. She'd always wanted children, but never found the right man. Now she had found the right man and he didn't want her because she was carrying a different man's child. Just her luck.

When she got to the grid Harry wasn't there yet. So she switched her computer on and got to work as Jo came in and sat next to her. "Hi, good weekend?"

"Not bad," she said as the truth hurt too much to share, even had she felt so inclined. "Jo, I've got to tell you something."

"Okay."

"I need you to not… shriek or scream or anything."

"Fine," the blonde said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm pregnant." Much to Ruth's relief Jo didn't say anything or squeal or shout. Instead her face showed complete shock but she said nothing. Once she could get her brain in gear, Jo made sure no one was listening.

"Is it Harry's?"

"No," Ruth said, trying to hide her bitterness.

"Are you sure?"

"What kind of woman do you think I am?" Ruth asked. "No don't answer that," she added before Jo could speak. "Look, if I'd slept with Harry, I think I'd have remembered it."

"Oh Ruth," Jo said sadly. "I'm not going to ask who then. Are you happy?"

"I'm happy that I'm going to be a mother," Ruth said. "I'm not happy that it seems my relationship with Harry seems to be… just about over."

"Oh I don't believe that," Jo said. "He's crazy about you."

"Yeah," Ruth said sadly. "Anyway I need to get back to work." Jo nodded and turned to her own computer. Ruth looked up as Harry walked onto the grid and smiled at her. She smiled somewhat tightly back. With her heart low she began typing the latest report on the terror threat.

* * *

"You called?" Ruth asked in the doorway of Harry's office.

"Close the door," he said firmly. She did and walked to his desk, feeling unaccountably nervous. "How are you?"

"Good," she said. "I told Jo about my pregnancy, so I think it'll probably leak out sooner or later." Harry nodded. "I'm fine."

"Good," he said. "If you want some company at your next scan… just someone to be there… so you're not on your own. Well, think about it."

"Would you be okay with that?" she asked.

"I don't want you to be on your own. And because… the father is..."

"A complete waste of space, yeah," she agreed. He actually smiled at that and Ruth smiled back. "I'll think about it. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said. "I want you to take care of yourself. Both of you."

"I will," she said lightly. "Bye Harry." She left the grid as Harry watched, a sigh on his lips.

* * *

Over the next few days Ruth was surprised by the fact that no one seemed to know about her pregnancy. It seemed Jo hadn't mentioned it to anyone.

"Jo, have you told anyone that I'm pregnant?" Ruth asked on Friday.

"No, of course I haven't!" she said, insulted that she thought her friend couldn't trust her. "You told me that in confidence."

"I know," Ruth said. "I was just hoping to avoid telling everyone in a big… whatever."

"So you hoped I'd spread it around, so you wouldn't have to mention it to anyone," Jo said, amused.

"Well, something like that," Ruth said abashed, her face red.

Jo laughed lightly and Ruth felt relieved that she wasn't taking offence. "I'll let people know," she said. "If that's what you want. There'll be gossip though."

"When won't there be," Ruth said rolling her eyes. "Thank you Jo."

"Does… Harry know?"

"Of course he does," Ruth said. "No matter what, I wouldn't let him find out through the gossip."

"Good," Jo said fervently. "I wouldn't like to have born that bullet!" Ruth laughed, and it was the first time she had since Harry had been around her house last week. It felt good to smile.

* * *

The weeks slowly passed. Harry did often ask about how she was, but mostly their relationship had slipped back to what it had been before their first dinner date. Friendship mixed with work. It wasn't what Ruth wanted, not by a long stretch but she was relieved she could still talk to him. Their working relationship wasn't strained either and for that she was glad. It at least provided the foundation for something more in the future, because in spite of what he'd said that day, she hadn't given up hope.

People had been staring at her bump, now not possible to be hidden under baggy clothes but she didn't mind. Her bump wasn't too big at the moment and she felt odd that she didn't mind people talking about her. In six months time she would be a mother. A whole brand new life would be dependent on her and it had rearranged her priorities a bit. She no longer cared what people said about her, and it only bothered her slightly that some people were discussing the possibility that the baby she carried was Harry's. Probably because a big part of her wished it was his child.  
One Friday she came in early, because she had to duck out early to have her second scan. What she hadn't expected was to see Harry already sitting in his office. She went to see him and smiled.

"You're in early," he said.

"So are you," she replied.  
"Happy birthday."

"God, I don't like birthdays," she said. "But thank you."

"I have a present for you," he said. "I thought you might like to open it away from prying eyes."

"Now I'm curious," she said as he gave her a large wrapped present. She smiled and carefully opened it. Inside there was a baby's photograph album, marking all the milestones. First smile. First steps. First words. It was a beautiful book. "Thank you Harry," she said

"You're welcome. Open the card." She did and inside there was a gift certificate for maternity clothes. "I thought you might want something for yourself. As well as the baby."

"Thank you," she said fervently. "You really didn't have to."

"No, I didn't," he said. "I wanted to."

"Thank you," she said again. "Harry, I have a… scan this evening after work. You don't have to come and please don't feel obligated but…"

"I'll come. If you want my company," he said. She nodded happily.

"Thank you. I might find out whether it's a boy or a girl tonight," she said, her face glowing.

"Might?"

"Depends on what they see," Ruth said. "I'm only 15 weeks, so I don't know."

"Well I'll see you later," he said. He reached for her hand and squeezed gently. She smiled and carried the photo album carefully back to her desk. She was happy.


	9. Chapter 9

"You know you don't have to come with me," Ruth said as she put her coat on at the end of the day.

"I know that," he said. "And in spite of… what happened with us, I still want to be there for you. You can't be on your own."

"Thank you Harry," she said. "You're a good man."

"I try," he said with a smile. "Lets go."

* * *

They'd both been quiet until the doctor called her through to the examination room. Ruth was becoming nervous again and Harry could tell. He gripped her hand tightly, and she was grateful.

"Okay, any problems?"

"No not at all," Ruth said. "And my morning sickness has cleared up which I'm grateful for."

"Have you felt any movement?"

"A couple of light flutters," Ruth said. "But not a kick or anything yet."

"Okay good," the doctor said. "Flutters are the first signs, so that's good."

"You didn't say anything," Harry said.

"It didn't matter," Ruth said.

"Of course it matters," he said. "Your baby is moving, that's massively important."

"Can we argue about this later?" Ruth said as the doctor worked the ultrasound machine, pushing the wand over Ruth's stomach. Harry noticed her stomach was much more pronounced now and it was obvious that she was pregnant. He thought she looked beautiful.

"Okay, here's your baby," the doctor said. "Regular heartbeat, good size."

"Wow, it actually looks like a baby now," Ruth said with happiness.

"Yes," the doctor said. "It's all progressing well."

"Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?" Harry asked. Both women looked at him, the silence only broken by the beating of the baby's heart. "Sorry," he said. "It's not my place, I shouldn't have asked."

The doctor smiled at the pair of them and then looked at Ruth. "Would you like to know?"

"Yes please," she said happily.

"Well, I'm about eighty percent sure," the doctor said. "I'll confirm at your next scan, but I'm going to say it's a girl."

"Really?"

"Don't go mad on the pink until your next ultrasound when I can confirm, but yes," the doctor said. "There's no male development on the foetus, so it is very likely to be a girl."

"That's great," Ruth said happily. "She's healthy?"

"Absolutely," the doctor said. "I'll get a picture for you." Ruth smiled at Harry and he beamed back. He might have kissed her then, but his phone rang. With a sigh he checked the caller and saw it was the Home Secretary.

"I'm sorry, Ruth, it's the HS," he said. "I'll be back soon. Yes?" he said answering the phone as he left the room. The doctor looked at Ruth and cleared the gel off of her stomach.

"I'm going to be impertinent," the doctor said. "Are you with that man?"

"No," Ruth said. "I tried. Briefly. It didn't work."

"Well, sort out whatever it is," she said. "Because that man is completely in love with you. You would be an idiot to let him go." She looked embarrassed for offering her opinion. "I'm sorry. It is none of my business. I shouldn't have… I can get you a different OB if I've overstepped."

"No, don't be silly," Ruth said. "Myself and Harry… it's very complicated. Last time he had a bit of trouble with the fact this is another mans baby. I'm hoping that with time… he could get used to it. I don't know."

"He wouldn't be here with you if he didn't want more Ruth, trust me on that," the doctor said.

"Thank you," Ruth said, pulling her shirt down. Harry came in, smiling at her.

"All okay?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "Thanks."

* * *

Over the weekend Harry wondered why he was doing this. Why he was going to Ruth's scans and appointments. Why did he care so much? He answered his own question. Because he was in love with her. And love is not conditional. Love doesn't work that way. It wouldn't matter what she did or what happened, because he was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with her. But how on earth could he fix it? He'd walked away from her so long ago, so unforgiving when he said he couldn't cope with her pregnancy. How on earth could he fix it now?

* * *

Time slipped past. Soon Ruth found herself nearly six months pregnant and nothing with Harry had changed. Her daughter (now definitely confirmed as a girl) had started kicking hard and Ruth felt incredibly happy. She'd begun decorating the spare room for a nursery, but with so much work it was slow going. Things with Harry hadn't progressed any further either, much to her disappointment. She didn't want to be the one to make the first move, after what he'd said. He had to be the one to realise he wanted more. She didn't know if she could cope with more rejection from him. And while she wasn't content with their relationship, it was better to have friendship than nothing at all.

On Monday morning Ruth was ready to go to work when there was a knock on her door. With a sigh she answered it. She wasn't expecting the visitor who was there. Charles Taylor. The father of her baby. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What the hell are you doing still pregnant?" he asked, thunder on his face.

"I don't want to argue about this on my doorstep. Either come in or go away," Ruth said firmly. He came in. Not very far, and they stood in the hallway staring at each other. "I am pregnant because six months ago I got drunk and you cheated on your wife."

"Yes, I remember," he said. "I told you to have an abortion."

"I had no intention of murdering my child," she said. "If that's all you came to say I'd like you to leave."

"You're not getting any of my money," he said firmly. "I am not paying for your illegitimate child."

"I never asked for any of your money," she said acidly. "I am going to be just fine with my baby and I never want to see you ever again. My daughter is going to have a perfectly happy life without an adulterous father figure in her life. Leave."

"You stupid little bitch," he said, his voice low and venomous. "If you'd just had an abortion then everything would have been fine."

"For you," she said, her eyes glaring at him. Crack! Ruth's head snapped back as he had just slapped her face hard. "Get out!" she shouted, her face smarting. He didn't. Instead he punched her stomach. Ruth felt herself collapse on the floor as he attacked her. And it wasn't just one punch either. He wasn't stopping and Ruth felt fear grip her. She curled protectively around her stomach and just waited for the onslaught to end.

* * *

**How mean am I? Sorry...**


	10. Chapter 10

**I know I was mean leaving it there, sorry...**

* * *

"Hi Harry," Adam said as he came on the grid. "You're late."

"I'm not late," he said. "I've been at work since seven a.m. Home Office meeting." Harry stifled a yawn. "Anything urgent?"

"No," Adam said. "I'm almost wishing for a terror attack things are so slow."

"Never say that Adam," Harry said. He scanned the grid and noticed that Ruth's desk was empty. "Ruth's not here yet?" he asked, a dart of worry going through him.

"Er no," he said. "I don't actually know where she is, I thought she was here, but actually I haven't seen her this morning. Jo?"

"What?" she said looking up from her screen.

"Have you seen Ruth?"

"No I haven't," she said. "I wondered if she had a scan or anything. We're not busy so I didn't think it'd matter."

Harry looked around before speaking, but Ruth wasn't appearing so he sighed, and went into his office. He switched on his mobile and checked his messages. He wasn't all that surprised to see one from Ruth. He smiled slightly and then listened to it.

"Hi Harry. Look, I can't come into work today. Or for the next couple of days," her recorded voice said. He noticed that her tone was down and really depressed. But nothing could prepare him for the next words. "I'm in St Mary's hospital and they want to keep me here for a few days. I'm okay, and… I'm sorry. I just I'm a bit of a mess right now. But I'm okay. Bye."

For a moment Harry was paralysed. Then he listened to the message again. "For God's sake Ruth! Why are you in the hospital? Is the baby okay? These are not unreasonable questions!" he hissed to himself. He dialled her number quickly, but it went straight through to answer phone. Cursing under his breath, he left the grid, needing to go to St Mary's hospital as soon as possible.

* * *

_One hour earlier._

Ruth sat in a hospital bed, a doctor and two nurses around her checking the extent of her injuries. She'd only just arrived at hospital and Ruth didn't care about herself, she cared about her baby. They were getting an ultrasound machine at the moment for her, and she was waiting with impatience for it to arrive. "Miss Evershed, where does it hurt?"

"Look, can we deal with me later, I want to know if my baby's okay!"

"How far pregnant are you?"

"Six months," she said. "Please tell me that she's okay. I haven't felt her kick since I… regained consciousness."

"Right, get out of the way," a strange male doctor said. Ruth looked and saw the ultrasound machine and sighed with relief. Very quickly the doctor put the wand on her stomach and Ruth bit her lip, trying to keep her heart rate under control and her panic at bay. At least until she was told she needed to panic.

"Please," she said in the silence. "Please tell me she's okay. Nothing could have happened to my baby, please!" she begged.

"Be quiet!" the doctor said forcefully. "I can't hear a foetal heartbeat if you keep talking." Ruth shut her mouth and let the tears fall. After all this, everything that had happened in the last six months, she couldn't lose her baby now. She didn't know how she'd ever recover from that. "Yep, there we go," the doctor said as a heart beat filled the room. "regular and steady."

"She's okay?" Ruth asked desperately, so relieved to hear that regular quick little beat.

"I want to get a 3D ultrasound to check, but yes, she looks okay. The heartbeat is steady and regular which is a good sign." The doctor sighed. "I need you to stop worrying about your baby, because the best thing you can do for her right now is concentrate on yourself. Okay?"

"Yes," she said. "My back hurts," she added. "My ribs. When he hit me I curled up around the baby. He kicked me in the back." She didn't need to see to know that the nurses were sharing a significant look.

"I'm going to call and get the police down here." Ruth didn't argue because she wanted that bastard caught. He could have murdered her baby so she had absolutely no forgiveness for him. "We're going to get you to have an MRI to check for internal bleeding okay?"

"Right," Ruth said. "Will that be safe for the baby?"

"Yes," he said. "We would usually put you into CT to check for internal injuries, but that one poses a slight risk for the baby. But MRI is perfectly safe, I assure you."

"Good," Ruth said. "I need a phone. Before I go anywhere, or have any tests done. I have to call someone."

"Okay," the doctor said. "We'll get a 3D ultrasound to check as well." Ruth nodded as someone passed her a phone. She dialled Harry's number, glad he hadn't answered because she didn't know how to phrase the conversation and she left a message. With a sigh she put her head back on the pillow and sighed. She was still incredibly worried about her child, but then she felt it. A very firm and hard kick under her ribs and Ruth smiled. That more than anything else told her that her daughter was okay.

* * *

"Ruth Evershed please?" Harry said to the receptionist.

"Family?"

"I'm in a relationship with her," he lied instinctively.

"Okay, let me check," the receptionist said, clicking on her computer. "She's in room 228. Up on the second floor and on the right. Follow the numbers and you'll find her."

"How is she?" Harry dared to ask. "Is she okay? And the baby?"

"Er… she's had two successful ultrasounds, according to this. Regular heartbeat. Baby looks good." Harry let out a sigh of pure relief and smiled.

"That's good, thank you." The receptionist nodded and Harry went off to find her. It didn't take long and he opened the door. His jaw fell open as he saw a bruise across the left side of her face. Her eye was puffed up and she looked awful.

"God Ruth, you look… terrible."

"Jeez Harry, you know how to raise a girls self esteem," Ruth said, her face tilted up slightly in a smile. He closed the door behind him and sat next to her, grabbing her hand tightly before she could so much as say a word.

"How's the baby?" he asked.

"Fine," she said with a wide smile which belied the fact she was in hospital after taking a beating. "I was worried… more than worried before they scanned the baby, but over the past hour she's been kicking me on and off. Hard. I never thought I would like having something kicking my ribs. She's an exception."

"I'm very relieved," he said, a smile on his face. Ruth was surprised by the evident relief on his face. "Who did this to you Ruth?"

"Charles Taylor," Ruth said. "The police are coming down soon to take my statement."

"Who is he? I don't recognise the name."

"My one night stand in January," she said as she put her hand on her stomach. "Unfortunately this little one's dad."

"Why?! Why on earth would he do this to you? What the hell is wrong with him? I mean its pretty clear you're pregnant! He shouldn't have done anything to you in the first place."

"That's why," Ruth said. "He wanted to know why I hadn't had an abortion. Then he hit me. And he got angry and didn't stop hitting me and I… lost consciousness."

"I am going to kill him," Harry said with a growl in his voice. "Forget about the damn police, I'm going to murder him."

"No you're not," she said, putting her hand over his lips. "I cannot have you kill a man. Be charged with murder? No! Please leave it to the police. For me."

"Ruth," Harry said, his voice low. "I can't. He could have killed you."

"He didn't," she said. "No lasting damage. We're both fine."

Harry squeezed her hand but he looked very unhappy and Ruth knew she hadn't heard the last of this. "You realise you haven't asked me how I am yet," she said, a smile on her face. "You asked how the baby was. But you didn't ask me how I was."  
He was silent as it dawned on him that she was right. He also knew from the look on her face that that was the best thing he could have done in the circumstances.

"Well, you're talking to me, and you look okay," he said. "I know for a fact that if you had broken bones you would deal with it and cope with it. If someone harmed your baby… if he'd hurt your child I know it would take you an awful lot to recover from that."

"Yeah," she said. "I guess you're right."

"How are you," he added, better late than never.

"My kidney's bleeding," she said. "Only a little though and they want to keep me in hospital to see if the bleeding stops on its own. Otherwise just bumps and bruises. I was lucky."

"You have not been lucky," he said fervently. "I'm going to kill him. He cannot get away with this."

"Harry…"

"I mean it," Harry said. "He could have…" Harry suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion and found his eyes pricking with tears.

"Hey," she said lightly as she saw him crying. "I'm fine, don't cry."

"I can't lose you," he said. Very gently he put his hand on her stomach. "Either one of you." Before Ruth could say anything Harry felt a thump under his hand, as if the baby wanted her presence known. Harry smiled at her and reluctantly removed his hand, looking at Ruth's face.

"I'm sorry," he said. "For what I said months ago. I just…"

"Needed time," she said, feeling her heart leap. "I know."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm an idiot." Ruth reached for him and wiped his tears away. Her hand stayed on his face and she was very reluctant to pull away. Instead Harry reached for her hand and held it gently in his. Then, before he could think, he leaned over and kissed her softly. He very nearly murmured "I love you" against her lips, but he managed to refrain. Now was not the right time.

Before either of them could say anything the door opened and two female police officers came in.

"I should go," Harry said, noticing that they were glaring at him like he was scum of the earth. He realised that the police thought he'd done this to her and held in his irritation with difficulty.

"Remember what I said," Ruth said loudly.

"I know," he said. "Don't worry." He kissed the top of her head gently, then he turned to the officers. "Before you jump to conclusions, I would not hurt one hair on her head."

"Harry…"

"I see the way they're looking at me," he said, turning to Ruth.

"Harry, you have people to boss around and shout at," Ruth said firmly. "Go." Harry nodded and sidestepped the police officers, leaving the hospital.

"Should I have him arrested?"

"For what?" Ruth asked confused. She herself hadn't seen the way the officers had been looking at Harry.

"Miss Evershed, we've seen cases of domestic violence dozens of times," the officer said. "You were in your house when you were attacked."

"Harry didn't do this," she said firmly. "I am not going to defend someone who hurt me this badly and could have killed my baby, not for a second. But Harry didn't do this."

"Why don't we start at the beginning," the blonde officer said, sitting down. Ruth nodded and took a deep breath before she started to speak.

* * *

**I apologise for any medical inaccuracies, but I hope this is okay :-)**


	11. Chapter 11

Harry emerged onto the grid, everyone's face turned to him. "How's Ruth?" Everyone asked at exactly the same time.

"She's fine. Just some bruises for the most part," Harry said. "They're keeping her in for a few days for observation."

"What about the baby?" Jo asked.

"And the baby looks good too. Kicking with a steady heartbeat," Harry said.

The room was filled with sounds of relief and Harry smiled. "Who did this to her?" Adam asked.

"My office," he said lowly. "I want a word in private." They walked through and as soon as Adam closed the door Harry drew the blinds.

"Harry, what happened?" Adam asked.

"Charles Taylor," Harry said. "He had a… thing with Ruth at the beginning of the year. It seems he was very angry when he realised she was still pregnant and he beat her up in her own house."

"Oh God," Adam said. "So… you're not the father of her baby?"

"No Adam I'm not," Harry said acidly. "She told me that she didn't want me to kill him. But I want him to disappear."

"Harry?"

"What happens in a years time? When Ruth has her child. This guy could show up and throw her daughter down the stairs, causing a hell of a lot more damage than the bumps and bruises she has right now. I cannot have that happen. Or even risk the possibility. I need him gone, and even if she won't admit it, so does Ruth."

"What do you want me to do?" Adam said.

"Make him vanish. I don't care how or what happens to him, and I don't even think I need to know. But I never want him to bother Ruth or our child ever again."

"Our child?" Adam questioned, his lips curving into a smile.

"Adam… Not the time," Harry said. "Tell Zaf if you need help, but I don't want anyone else to know. Also Ruth's filed a police report, so tread carefully."

"Oh God, that's going to make it so much more difficult," Adam said.

"I know," Harry said. "Her injuries followed the pattern of domestic abuse and the hospital called them."

"Are you sure this is what Ruth wants?" Adam asked.

"No," he said. "But I will not have her living in fear that someone is going to hurt her daughter. That's more important than the fact she may hate me for doing it."

"Harry, talk to her," Adam said. "I'll track him down today, but I am not going to kill him until Ruth says its okay. This is her business, and it's the father of her child."

"Fair enough," he said begrudgingly. "I'll talk to her tonight."

"Good," Adam said. "And I'm glad she's okay."

"Yes, so am I," Harry said fervently. Adam left his office and Harry took a shaky breath. "So am I."

* * *

It was late but Harry had sweet talked the nurse in allowing him to visit, even though visiting hours were long since over. He guessed the fifty pound note hadn't hurt either. He opened the door and saw Ruth sleeping. He should have guessed that. He put a present on her bedside table and then she opened her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

"No, not you," she said. "I wasn't sleeping, was only resting my eyes. Hi."

"Hi," he said kissing the top of her head. "How are you?"

"Good," she said. "You have that look."

"What look?" he asked.

"You have something to tell me," she said. "Or ask me maybe. And you don't think I'm going to react well."

"You can read all that from my face?"

"I know you," she said simply, smiling at him. "What is it?"

"I know you told me not to kill that… man who did this to you," he said. "But I can't let him get away with it Ruth."

"You cannot kill him," she said. "I don't want a man to die because of me. I can't have a death on my conscience, its bad enough having terrorists die because of me."

"I don't mean to scare you," he said. "But what happens if he comes to your house when your daughter is a few months old. If he threatens your child. Hurts her. Maybe even…"

"Don't," she said, her eyes filled with tears. "I can't think of something like that happening to my girl. I can't."

"Then let me deal with him," Harry said.

"No," Ruth said. "Threaten him. I'm sure Adam can do threatening well, especially with a gun or two. Tell him to never come near me again or you'll tell his wife. I'm sure you can be more creative. Tell him to crawl under his rock and never disturb me again or you will kill him. I'm sure you can make it believable."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said. "I'm sure."

"Okay," he said. "I might have Adam do it though. Because if I have to look at him while holding a gun, I'll probably pull the trigger. My restraint… is not endless."

"Does Adam know? That he's… my girls father?"

"I told him," Harry admitted. "He won't tell anyone, don't worry."

"I'm not worried," she said. "What's that?" she asked, trying to change the subject onto happier ground.

"A gift," he said. "A get well soon gift." She opened it and saw that it was a baby name book and smiled. "It's got an entire section on Greek and Roman names too. So you can call your daughter Persephone, Minerva or something else unpronounceable."

Ruth laughed at that. "I haven't actually decided on a name," she said. "I don't want to give her a name that'll make her get teased through school."

"I know," he said. "Have you thought of any names?"

They spent the next hour or two arguing over baby names as they flicked through the book. Harry held back at first but when Ruth tried teasing him by seriously suggesting Mercedes as a name he knew that she wanted his input. He told her in no uncertain terms that she was not naming her daughter after a car, making her laugh.

In fact, he'd been there nearly two hours when the nurse came in and asked them to be quiet because a terminally ill woman next door was trying to sleep. Suitably abashed, they fell silent. "I should let you sleep," he said.

"Probably," she said. "Thank you for the book."

"You're welcome."

"Come here," she said. He did and they kissed passionately, tongues exploring delightfully.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said.

"Can you bring me some books? I don't want to die of boredom."

"Sure," he said. "Twilight and Fifty shades of grey be all right for you?"

Ruth threw a pillow at him. "Austen and the Bronte's," she said, trying not to rise to the bait. "Or Mary Shelley. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Ruth."

* * *

**I know 50 shades hadn't been published when this story was set, but I couldn't resist! The next chapter will have Charles dealt with, as I'm sure we're all eager for!**


	12. Chapter 12

Charles Taylor was in his stupid one bedroom flat, trying to get some sleep. Over the weekend his wife had found some incriminating photos which he hadn't been able to talk his way out of. He knew his wife would forgive him with time, because Caroline was scared of being on her own. She liked being a housewife, and she liked having his money to spend. Whereas he liked having a wife who didn't nag him for children and welcomed the firm members when they came around for dinner. It wasn't a dignified arrangement but it worked. Caroline had suspected he'd had affairs but never confronted him before, but the photo's made her shriek and scream and go crazy.

So he'd gone to see Ruth. And when he'd seen her so obviously pregnant he'd seen red and attacked her. He wasn't the type of man who hit women, and he couldn't believe he'd done that. When Ruth had lost consciousness he'd felt horrified by what he'd done and called an ambulance to his address before rapidly leaving the house.

And now he was sleeping in what was usually the place where he met his one night stands. He knew his wife would calm down eventually, but his back was killing him from the cheap mattress. Usually it wasn't used for sleeping. Suddenly there was a knock on his door and with a groan he opened it. Two masked men holding handguns pointed directly at his chest.

"What do you want?" he asked, holding his hands up and backing away as they came into the flat.

"You hospitalised a pregnant woman," the first man said, the gun pointed steadily at his heart. "You beat her and left her bleeding in the hallway."

"Are you talking about Ruth?"

"Have you hit too many pregnant women to keep count?" the other man asked. "You are not to see her ever again. If you ever come within a mile of her, or her child ever again, I will pull the trigger. And that's if you're lucky and I don't draw it out."

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Charles's head swung backwards as the butt of a gun hit his forehead.

"Don't lie you piece of scum," he said, venomously. "I have the power to ruin you. Never go near her again."

"Fine," he said, wanting to agree to anything to get these gun toting men out of his face. "I'll do whatever you want."

"You will regret it otherwise," the first man said. "I promise you, whatever rock you crawl under I will find you." The man sounded so menacing that Charles knew he was more than capable.

"Fine." One man kept the gun pointed at his chest, the other turned to the door, opened it, and in walked Caroline. His wife. Looking thunderous.

"How could you?" she asked, her voice deathly quiet. "She's six months pregnant, how long have you been cheating on me?"

"You told her!" Charles yelled. "How could you tell her?"

"I don't think that's the point," Caroline said. "How many women have you cheated on me with?" Silence. "Do you even know?"

"Carrie…"

"I've forgiven you in the past, for so much," she said. "Always thinking you'll change. But you're never going to are you? I hate you! I've been married to you for twenty years! Were you ever faithful? I've wasted the best years of my life… on what? You're pathetic scrawny neck? No more." She turned to one of the men and nodded. "I've made up my mind. I want to do it."

The man handed her the gun and she took it. "Caroline? Carrie? What… what are you doing?"

"Getting rid of the drain on my life. The man who slept with my sister. My sister Charles! Did you think I'd never find out?"

"Carrie, don't do anything stupid."

"I've thought about this for the last year," she said. "I should have done it years ago."

"Carrie, wait."

"No." She raised the gun and pulled the trigger three times. His head exploded in a mess of blood and gore as he collapsed to the floor. Caroline watched him, her face a mask as Harry reached for the gun from her. After a moment or two she gave it to him. Harry put the safety on, ignoring the dead body on the floor.

"You've seen people die before," Adam said.

"I was a nurse before I married," she said simply. She sighed. "You'll fix the CCTV for me?"

"Absolutely," Adam said.

"Good, because if I go down for this, I'm bringing you down with me."

"Fair enough." The three of them stared at each other and quickly left the flat, locking it behind them. Charles Taylor hadn't noticed, but they had all worn gloves, so no fingerprints would be left behind. And Zaf was working on the CCTV from the grid too.

* * *

Ruth was having an ultrasound to check on the baby when the door of her hospital room opened. Harry came in, the smile fading as he saw the doctor. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just checking," Ruth said. "The baby's fine right?"

"Yes, looks perfectly healthy," the doctor reassured, a smile on her face.

Ruth tore her eyes away from the screen and looked at Harry. "That bag looks like it has books in it."

"The classics as requested," he said, sitting next to her and kissing her hello. Ruth had a quick look through the bag and was pleased that he'd brought all that she'd asked for and more.

"Right, I'll leave you to it Ruth," the doctor said. "Rest. Get some sleep."

"Thank you," Ruth said. She waited until the door closed and then she looked at Harry intensely. "He's dead isn't he?"

"Yes," Harry said. "I didn't kill him."

"Who did then? Adam?" Ruth asked, looking more than a little hurt.

"His wife," Harry said. Ruth looked confused.

"Start from the beginning," Ruth said.

"His wife had found out about his numerous affairs, apparently including her sister. We had a look at her internet history and she'd been looking for how to get hold of a gun illegally. And checking out websites which were quite literally about how to get away with murdering your spouse. We exploited that. And I'm not going to apologise."

"Oh Harry…" she said. "He's dead?"

"Yes," he said. "I wouldn't have killed him because you asked me not to. But Ruth…he could have made you lose the baby. He could have killed you. I'm not sorry."

"Did the wife… did she need persuasion?"

"Not at all," Harry said. "We gave her the opportunity and she almost leapt on it. Especially when we told her that we'd cover the CCTV for her."

"I don't know what to think," she said. "I don't know what I _should_ think."

"Are you mad or angry with me?" he asked.

"No," she said quietly. "No I'm not." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I'd been thinking. I wasn't sure I could cope… knowing he might turn up and hurt her once she's born. So no, I can't regret the fact he's dead Harry. I just… wish it'd never happened. That he'd never hit me, that I'd never feared for my life, that there was no risk I might have lost my girl. I don't know Harry."

"Can I ask you a favour?" Harry said. Ruth nodded. "If you ever cheat on me can you pick a better man than that scumbag?" Ruth smiled widely. "What?"

"In order to cheat on you, we need to be in a relationship," Ruth explained, the smile wider than ever. "So there's an _us_ now is there?"

"There is most definitely an us," he said, his voice low. "I can't be without you. Whatever happens." He sighed. Then he held her face gently, making her look at him, deep into his eyes. "I need you."

She smiled for a moment and then pulled him in for a deep and satisfying kiss. When they parted, their foreheads were touching and their eyes were closed. "Your nose is cold," Harry said, making her laugh.

"For what it's worth, I need you too," she said quietly. He kissed her again and it was a long time before he stopped.

* * *

**I can't update tomorrow, so I added this tonight. Hope you enjoyed Charles's demise, and HR becoming a couple as they should be. :-)**


	13. Chapter 13

Ruth was discharged on Friday morning. She thought it was excessive, keeping her in so long when all she had was bruises but they said they wanted to make sure everything was okay with the baby, which while being annoying to her, was also a sacrifice she was willing to make for the health of her child. Harry picked her up and drove her home. She knew not to even mention the fact that she should be going to work, because Harry would not let that happen. So it was pointless arguing.

"Thank you for picking me up," she said.

"You're more than welcome," he said. "I'm trying to stop you from coming to work though, so its less generous than it seems.

"Fair enough," she said. "I don't feel like waddling to my desk anyway." Harry wisely said nothing. He was silent until he parked outside her house and Ruth worried that something was wrong. "What is it?"

"I… I've done something which I thought was a good idea, but now I'm rapidly going off of it. I think I've overstepped and I'm worried about how you're going to react." He was stopped by Ruth's fingers on his lips and he sighed.

"Calm down," she said. "I'm not going to run away from you. Now what have you done?"

He kissed the tips of her fingers and then gently removed her hand. "I… I'll just show you. That's easier. Come on."

"Okay," she said, getting out of the car. She unlocked the door and paused in the hallway, remembering the last time she'd been here. Laying unconscious curled protectively around her baby.

"Ruth?"

"Sorry," she said. "I was just… thinking. Remembering."

"Are you okay?" She nodded and then hissed as the baby kicked her hard. "Baby?"

"Yeah," she said breathlessly. She walked into the house and Harry closed the door. "So what am I meant to be noticing?"

"Upstairs," he said. "Go on." She did and then waited in the hall. Harry sighed and opened the door to what had been the spare room. Ruth went through it and gasped. It was decorated into the perfect nursery. Not a scrap of pink in sight either. The walls were cream and had been repainted. There was a border of Winnie the Pooh around the walls, the classic images, not the Disney ones. The cot she'd bought two weeks ago had been made up and there were sheets and a teddy bear already in it. A changing table and a rocking chair were there too. It was perfect.

"Well?"

"I love it," she said, her eyes looking around the perfect room. It was better than what she'd ever had been able to achieve in the three months before her child was born, what with work and everything else. "When did you have the time?"

"I took a couple of days off. And press ganged Zaf into doing something useful. Watching him trying to put that cot together was entertaining."

"I bet," Ruth said. "Thank you. It's wonderful. Perfect." She turned to him and put her hands around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Their bodies pressed together as tightly as they could around her bump. They only parted when the baby kicked so hard that Harry felt it.

"You have an energetic daughter," he said.

"Don't I know it," she agreed. "Especially at three in the morning."

"Ruth, I have to go," he said. "I'm sorry, but I've skipped quite a bit of work this week, what with… everything."

"It's fine," she said. "Don't worry. If you fancy bringing some paperwork back, I'll catch up over the weekend."

"No," he said simply.

"Harry…"

"You're already over stretching yourself at work, trying to get everything done and then some, because you feel guilty about taking maternity leave." Ruth blushed. "Did you think I hadn't noticed?"

"I'm pregnant, I'm not ill," she said. "And what's the harm in doing more work while I can? I don't want my replacement to drown in work I haven't finished."

"Look, you do your job well, and I'm not going to argue about how you do it," Harry said. "I am going to argue about you doing it in your free time. Relax."

"Fine," she said. "Are you coming back here tonight?"

"Would you like me to?" he asked.

"Yes," she said honestly.

"Then I will," he said.

"Can you bring fish and chips back? I fancy it tonight," she said, her face bright.

"Of course I can," he said. He brought her to his arms and held her close. He kissed her gently, his lips brushing across hers. "I'll see you later then. Sleep. Rest."

"Yeah yeah," she said rolling her eyes. "See you later then."

"Bye."

* * *

Over the next few weeks and months, Harry and Ruth became very close. Every weekend was spent together, doing nice normal things that couples did. Going to see movies. Going out to dinner. Walking in St James Park on bright sunny Saturdays. Perusing antique book shops and choking on the dust. It was so strange and almost abnormal to be doing things that every other person in the country could do. Their evenings would inevitably end with a long and enjoyable make out session, usually on Ruth's sofa. They had both agreed that it would be best if they waited for sex until the baby was born. They would both be more comfortable afterwards, and in the meantime, it was entertaining behaving like teenagers with wandering hands and deep and longing kisses.

The baby was due in a week when Ruth's maternity leave started. Harry took her home, wanting to make sure she was safe and well. "How are you feeling?"

"Over the past few days I've started to feel really fat," she said. "Earlier in my pregnancy I felt healthy and glowing as the baby grew. Now I feel like I'm waddling all the time."

"You're not fat," he said automatically. It was his go to response during his first marriage as his wife had complained that she was fat daily. In the present he realised he'd sounded disinterested when Ruth said that. "I mean it," he said. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you," she said with a smile. The car parked outside her house but neither of them made any move to leave the car. "I've been thinking," she said. "I'd like you with me. When I go into labour," she said. "If you want to," she added. "I don't want to presume that you want to be there."

"Are you sure?" he asked, eyes alight. This was the most personal thing she could ever chose to share with him, and it thrilled him that she wanted him there.

"Yes," she said.

"In that case, yes," he said. "If you want me to be there of course I will be. I'd love to."

"I'll be a screaming swearing wreck," Ruth warned.

"I think I can cope with that," he said with a grin. She smiled back, her eyebrows flicking upwards in surprise as he kissed her passionately. Ruth responded and when they broke apart she sighed happily. Harry opened the car door but Ruth's hand on his thigh stopped him from moving any further. "What?"

"You need to close the door and turn the engine back on," she said quietly.

"Ruth?"

"I think the baby's coming."


	14. Welcome to the World

**I know, a bad place to leave it. Sorry! To make it up to you, this is a longer chapter than planned...**

* * *

"Harry…"

"No, I'm getting you to the hospital as soon as possible."

"Harry…"

"No arguments," he said, jumping a red light.

"Harry, stop the car!" she shouted. He did, pulling up to the side of the road. "I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast," she said, looking at her watch. "It's now nearly half past five in the afternoon and it looks like my baby is going to be born today. I am not pushing a seven pound baby out of my vagina before I've eaten something, and that is final!"

"Why didn't you have lunch?"

"That's not the issue right now."

"You shouldn't eat," he said in a quiet voice, knowing when he was defeated. "We should get you to hospital."

"I don't care," she said. "My contractions aren't that close together, I know we have time. And I am planning to eat before I get to the hospital. So be nice, and go and get me a sandwich or something."

"Fine," he said. "But if this comes up later, I was against it."

"Thank you," she said sweetly. He hurried out of the car to buy her something to eat, not wanting to fight a woman in labour, despite the fact he didn't think this was a good idea.

* * *

Parking in the hospital car park Ruth licked her fingers. "That was delicious," she said. Harry rolled his eyes at her.

"Come on, lets get you inside," he said. She was about to move but then flinched in silent pain, her eyes closed. Harry didn't say a word, instead he waited for the contraction to be over.

"Lets go." They checked into the hospital quickly and Ruth found herself laying in bed with nothing to do but wait for her midwife to show up. She looked at Harry's face and saw that he was almost white, gripping her hand tightly. "You're nervous," she said suddenly.

"Yes," he agreed. "I've never been in the delivery room before."

"You have two kids!"

"I know," he said. "Jane didn't want me with her. I was young and stupid at the time and didn't realise that what she meant was that she wanted me to insist to be with her. That there was no way I would let her do this on her own. By the time I realised that it was too late. So she didn't let me come in for Graham's either. So no. Never before been here."

"Ah…" Ruth moaned as a contraction went through her. "So first time for you?"

"Yes," he said.

"At least I'm not alone," she said. He squeezed her hand and then kissed her gently.

* * *

"Oh God, make it end," Ruth begged quietly. Sweat covered her head and she was too tired even to scream with the pain any more. She'd been in the hospital for eight hours. Eight hours of labour which had progressively got worse, especially once her waters had broken. Harry was beginning to worry about how exhausted Ruth was becoming. But he did all he could, even if it was as simple as holding her hand as she squeezed his palm hard with every contraction.

"Ruth, right now you have to push," the midwife said. "When you feel the next contraction push as hard as you can."

"I can't," she moaned. "It hurts."

"I know it hurts," the midwife told her. "In five minutes you can be holding your daughter. But you need to push."

"Oh God!" she cried out quietly as another huge pain went through her and she collapsed on the bed.

"Harry," the midwife said. "She needs to push, otherwise the baby could go into distress."

Harry nodded and turned to Ruth. "Sweetheart, you have to push."

"I can't," she moaned. "It hurts so much. I just can't."

"Yes you can," he said firmly. "I know you can. You can do anything you set your mind to."

"I hate you Harry," she said. "Argh!"

"You can do it. Your beautiful daughter will be in your arms in a few minutes. She needs you. Only you can do this for her."

"Okay," Ruth breathed. She sat up in bed and screwed up her face in pain and concentration.

"Push!" the midwife said. Ruth did with a groan, almost breaking Harry's fingers in the process. "Good, that's great Ruth." She was too exhausted to speak, just concentrating on her body. "She's crowning. Push with the next contraction." She did and Harry suddenly found that he couldn't look at her. Her face was marked with agony, she looked in such terrible pain that he just couldn't look at her. Instead he focused on their joined hands as she pushed again with a cry.

"One more Ruth. Just one," the midwife told her.

"Okay," Ruth breathed. "If you're lying to me, I'll kill you."

"Come on Ruth," Harry said. "You can meet your daughter in a minute." She pushed with all her might and then heard a tiny thin crying fill the room.

"Is she okay?" Ruth breathed.

"Absolutely," the midwife said with a smile. "Dad want to cut the cord?"

Ruth nodded her permission and Harry smiled at her. He cut the umbilical cord and then watched as the nurse cleaned the baby up. The crying got louder, now that it seemed she'd discovered her lungs. "Here we are, here's your daughter." The nurse handed Ruth her baby and Ruth's face broke out into a wide grin. Her daughter was here.

"Oh she's gorgeous," Ruth said, looking at her admiringly, the mess of dark hair covering her head. "Oh stop crying little girl. I know, it's all strange and new isn't it?" Harry leaned over the two women in his life and gently touched the newborns hand. Ruth kissed her daughters forehead softly as the crying subsided.

"She's beautiful," Harry said. He caught Ruth's eye for a moment and they were both smiling.

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Really?" he asked, breathlessly. Ruth nodded, and very carefully handed the bundle over. Harry cradled her very carefully. When she was baby free, the midwife examined her post delivery bleeding and nodded, satisfied. In the relative quiet of the room Ruth was cleaned up and the bloody sheets removed. All the while Ruth couldn't tear her eyes away from Harry who was cradling her daughter. He looked so wonderful holding her.

When they were finished the nurse turned to them, holding a clipboard.

"Does she have a name yet?"

"Hannah." Every woman in the room looked at Harry who'd been the one who'd spoken. He seemed to suddenly realise he'd spoken out loud and he turned red. "I'm… sorry. It's not my place. Sorry Ruth. It's just… she's so perfect."

"Hannah was on my list," Ruth said quietly to Harry. Turning to the nurse she continued. "We haven't decided yet. I want a little time to get to know her first."

"Fine," the nurse said easily, making a note on the baby's chart.

"She's beautiful," Harry said, handing her back to her mother. "I'm sorry. I spoke without thinking."

"Harry, it's fine," she said. "More than fine. I like that you were thinking about names." The nurses left the three of them alone and Ruth smiled. "Hannah," she said contemplating the bundle before me. "I like Hannah."

"Ga!" Ruth smiled at her daughter as her tiny little fingers curled around Ruth's index.  
"You like that?" she asked with a smile. "Are you going to be Hannah?"

"I didn't mean to put only one name in your head… I'm just so tired, I said it without thinking. Just… Sleep on it," he said quietly.

"And on that note, I think that's going to be happening very quickly," she said. "I'm exhausted."

"I'll watch her," he said eagerly.

"You need sleep too," Ruth said.

"Yes," he said. "But I've survived on worse. And with much less pleasant and pretty company." Ruth laughed.

"Harry? I'd like a kiss. Please," she said tiredly. He was most happy to oblige. The baby swapped hands and Harry sat down by the window, the city lights of London burning orange on the glass pane. By the time he looked back at Ruth she was already asleep.

"Just you and me now little girl," he said quietly, rocking her. "I must admit, I was a bit sceptical when I heard you were on your way. You weren't exactly planned sweetheart, but I'm going to tell you now that you are very much loved and you can never doubt that for an instant. Okay?" She didn't make a sound and seemed to have drifted off to sleep. Harry kept talking. "I must say you have won the lottery when it comes to mothers. You have the best mother in the world. And even when you're a teenager, screaming at her for something, you will still have the best mother in the world, you hear me? I am going to try my best to be a good father to you. I know I've not been the greatest in the past, but I'm going to try my hardest. Okay? No matter what happens between your mum and I, I'm going to be there for you. And no arguments." The baby was still sleeping, and Harry very gently kissed her head. "I love you already. Don't forget that."

He held the baby for a few more minutes but then felt the tiredness set in. So he put her in the cot at the end of Ruth's bed and covered her with a blanket. He looked at Ruth and saw that she wasn't under the sheets, so he covered her with a blanket too. She sighed as it was put over her. "Thank you," she murmured.

"Don't want you to get cold."

"That's not what I'm thanking you for," she said. Her eyes opened and caught Harry's and he knew his words to the baby had been overheard. "Thank you."

"I meant it," Harry said.

"I know," Ruth whispered. He kissed her cheek and then she slept. Harry sat in the chair and very soon he joined the other two in dreamless sleep.

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**Please leave a review if you have a minute. Thank you.**


	15. Chapter 15

Ruth awoke to a grizzling at the bottom of her bed. In a rush she quickly went to her daughter and picked her up. "Hush now, none of that," Ruth said to her daughter. She grizzled louder and Ruth realised that she was probably hungry. Carefully she loosened her hospital gown and managed to get the baby to latch on. She saw at once that she'd been right. Her daughter sucked greedily at her breast and Ruth smiled at her, letting her curl her tiny hand around her finger at the same time.

"Oh my dear sweetheart," she said in a resigned voice. "You're going to be Hannah aren't you? Harry named you first, and now I can't think of you as anything else." She smiled at her. "But then again Hannah's a nice name for you isn't it? My beautiful daughter." She didn't say any more, instead she just admired the curve of her cheek, her delicate eyelashes and her button nose. She was so beautiful.

"You're awake." Ruth looked up and saw Harry watching her

"Someone wanted feeding," she said. Harry's eyes went to the baby and saw that Ruth's breast was visible. He averted his eyes quickly. "Don't worry," she said, knowing what he was thinking. "You seeing my breasts isn't at the top of my list of concerns right now."

"How's our girl?"

"Hungry," Ruth said. "And it is Hannah. Isn't it?"

"I think so," he said. "Are you sure?" Ruth nodded as Hannah stopped feeding. Ruth gave the baby to Harry and he cuddled her tightly as she covered herself back up. Suddenly the door opened and Ruth watched as a different doctor came in with a clipboard.

"Hi, I'm doctor Cartwright and I'll be discharging you today."

"Discharge?" Ruth said confused. "I only gave birth in the early hours of the morning, how can you discharge me already?"

"I'm going to examine you and the baby, but you both seem to be healthy from the chart and the nurses notes," the doctor said. "I can come back later though. If you want to stay in hospital for a few more hours. I just like to start my day with the newborns and new mothers," she said with a smile. "Much more fun and uplifting than the heart disease or cancer wings." Ruth smiled at that. "How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted," Ruth said. "And sore."

"I'll just check you over." Harry kept hold of the baby and smiled as she yawned, her eyes blue and wide, watching Harry.

"You're a good baby you know?" Harry said.

"Wait until she's crying at three a.m." Ruth said.

"You'll only cry when you want your belly filled won't you?" Harry cooed. Ruth laughed at them, her heart overflowing with love and joy.

"Right, you're looking good," the doctor said. "Let me have a look at the little one."

"Hannah," Ruth said with a smile.

"Oh you're going to be a heart breaker aren't you?" the doctor cooed over the baby. "Big blue eyes like that."

"Like her mother," Harry said. Ruth rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up, watching as the doctor agreed that Hannah was perfectly healthy. "So we're going home?"

"Yes," the doctor said. "Just sign there and then you can go. Also, don't indulge in any sexual activity for about a month." Ruth blushed but was glad no one said anything in response to this. Ruth shrugged and tried to change the subject.

"I can't believe that in twenty four hours I've given birth and being discharged already."

"Live your lives," the doctor said with a smile. Ruth turned to Harry and smiled. "I guess we're going home."

"I guess we are," Harry said with a smile. He leaned over her and kissed her softly and slowly. They were only interrupted by Hannah gurgling softly between them. "Lets go."

* * *

Jo knocked on Ruth's door, a baby gift in hand which she'd forgotten to give to Ruth yesterday, and left at home. So she was waiting outside her house, and the door was answered by Harry, shirt sleeves rolled up and looking dishevelled and tired, but happy. "Jo, what are you doing here?"

"I brought a present," Jo said. "For Ruth and the baby."

"She's reading in the living room," Harry said, a private smile on his face. "Come in." Jo moved through the house and saw Ruth with a newspaper, lounging on the sofa. What made Jo stop in the doorway was the fact that there was a tiny baby in a carry cot on the coffee table.

"What… what? Just… Hi," Jo finished lamely.

"Hi Jo," Ruth said sitting up.

"You've been busy since I last saw you. All of yesterday."

"Yeah," Ruth said. "Apparently she didn't want to hang around," Ruth said, picking her daughter up carefully. Jo smiled at the bundle and felt her heart melt.

"She's gorgeous," Jo said honestly.

"We know," Harry replied.

"Hannah," Ruth said. "Her name's Hannah."

"I bought you a present," Jo said, putting it on the table. "I didn't think she'd be here for a while. But then who am I kidding? She's your daughter and you're never late for anything."

"Do you want to hold her?" Ruth asked.

"Do you mind?"

"Course not," she said. "Go on." Jo held the baby, a wide smile on her face.

"Hello cutie," Jo said. "Oh you are gorgeous arent you!"

"Sorry to interrupt but I have to go out," Harry said. "You have nothing in the fridge except milk. You need food. And I'll be back soon."

"Okay," Ruth said. Harry leaned over and kissed her briefly. "Bye."

Once he'd left Jo turned to Ruth, her eyes wide. "So, how are things with you and Harry?"

"Can't we have five minutes cooing over the baby before you ask impertinent questions?" Ruth said.

"No. Why don't we do both?"

"Fine," Ruth agreed with a smile. "What do you want to know?"

"What is going on with you and Harry? I'd like details."

"Nosey," Ruth said without any anger. She kissed the top of Hannah's head and sighed, beginning to talk to her. Eventually words came easier and she found herself talking to Jo more honestly than she had in months. It felt good to have a friend.

"You haven't slept with him yet?"

"No," Ruth said. "I didn't think it was a good idea when I was pregnant. A constant reminder of another man, you know…"

"No, you're probably right," Jo said. "I will say he's crazy about you though. To take on you and a baby that's not his."

"I think… he loves her. I caught him talking to her when he thought I was sleeping in hospital. He was really sweet."

"The hard hearted, iron fisted, strong willed leader of section D being soft towards a baby?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "It's just a front you know. Its how he deals with the terror and death we cope with all the time. He's a different man underneath all that."

"You seem good for him," Jo said. "If you ever want me to baby-sit so you can have wild and loud s-e-x with Harry in some random hotel room just call me," Jo said, her face bursting into a cheeky grin. "I'll be happy to baby-sit. She looks like an angel."

"I'll remind you of that when she starts crying on you," Ruth said. "I'd like to take you up on that. At some point. I haven't got used to having her yet. Give her back please." Jo smiled at the eager new mother and gave her daughter back.

"Congratulations Ruth," Jo said. "I hope you're happy." Ruth smiled. The lightness in her heart was answer enough.

* * *

**As a warning (maybe a bit of a tease...) the next chapter is going to be M rated...**


	16. M rated

**Right, the M rated chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

Time passed. Life settled into a routine and Ruth felt truly happy. Harry never stayed overnight, but he was there most mornings and most evenings after work too. He left every night happily, usually after watching the baby for about twenty minutes while Ruth washed her hair. And they spent the majority of the weekends together too.

They didn't have to be talking, they didn't have to be in the same room either. It was the simple joy of existing in the same space with each other, whether they were reading or kissing or Harry was watching the cricket while Ruth was feeding the baby. The pleasure of having the other person around was immense. It felt so nice to have a normal life. And they were both enjoying looking after Hannah. A baby who (as long as she wasn't hungry) cried rarely. Ruth loved watching Harry hold her, it was one of her favourite things. Especially when he was unaware of her presence. They were the most precious moments of her life at the moment.

One night Harry put Hannah down to sleep, Ruth watching from the doorway. He covered her with a blanket and then checked the baby monitor was on before leaving the nursery. Ruth closed the door behind him and then turned to him. "I love you," she whispered.

"You've never said that," he said. "Not in so many words."

"I know," she said, her voice still quiet. "I love you. I love the way you look at me. I love how much you care for Hannah. I love your integrity and patience and how you always try to do what's right. I love you."

"Ruth," he murmured, his voice husky with emotion. He ran his fingers through her hair, his hand ending up on the back of her neck. "I love you too. So much." She smiled for a moment before he kissed her. Over the past few months they'd shared hundreds of kisses, but none quite like this one. It was soft and slow, but with the promise of much more to come. He drew back, trying to steady his breathing.

"I want you to stay with me tonight," she said quietly but firmly. He lifted one eyebrow but took his time before speaking. "If you want to stay that is."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said. She reached for his hand and held it tightly, leading the way into her bedroom. Her heart was racing with nervousness but she knew she had to take the lead. Harry was too much of a gentleman and if he thought he was pushing her towards sex they'd never get anywhere. He closed the door behind them and switched the light on. Ruth blinked at the bright light for a moment.

"Is that okay?" Harry asked nervously. Ruth nodded, a smile playing on her lips. He walked a few steps towards her and kissed her deeply his hands on the base of her spine, fingers splaying. She pushed her hips tight against his. Irritated by the amount of clothing between them she shivered as his thumb pushed the hem of her blouse up out of the way. The skin contact was electrifying. Just that simple touch of his thumb on her spine set her nerves on fire.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked again.

"Anyone would think you're nervous," she said, her eyes twinkling. Then she realised it was true. He _was_ nervous. "Do you want this?"

"Badly," he admitted. Closing his eyes he sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. Ruth put her hands in his hair and kissed him again. Hands on her waist, he pushed her shirt up, fingers skimming along her ribcage. "Lay down," he said, voice quiet but demanding. She did what he asked, laying on her back as Harry kissed her neck, his weight comforting above her. His tongue licked flesh and Ruth felt her breath becoming shallower. His warm mouth went over her collarbone. And lower. To the V of her shirt and to the first fastened button. She reached for him, her arms tightening around her but he shook his head. "No. I want you to enjoy this. Don't focus on me." She looked at his hazel eyes, now not hazel she noticed. Now black with passion and want. She smiled as his head dipped to her décolletage again.

Tongue and lips worshipped her as very slowly peeled the fabric away, leaving a thin strip of pale flesh down her chest. With every button that came undone Ruth felt her pulse quicken and her nipples tighten almost painfully against the confines of her bra.

His mouth reached her belly button and he licked there. Ruth's eyes had closed during this exquisite touches but when he stopped, she opened her eyes. He was watching her. "What?"

"I want to see your face when I do this." He cupped her breasts firmly, squeezing.

"Oh gently," she said, even though the friction felt somewhere between pain and pleasure. "Gently please…" she moaned. He lightened his touch and she groaned with the sensation.

"Like that?"

"Mmm," she said. Harry chuckled at her, clearly he was doing something right. His hands slid upwards slowly and ended in her hair as he kissed her again passionately, tongues battling against each other. Ruth sat up and quickly slid her arms out of her shirt. While she was sitting, Harry reached behind her, lips on her neck and unfastened her bra. He looked deep into her eyes as he removed the garment, leaving her topless. After a moment his eyes went southward and Ruth suddenly felt embarrassed. She still had the baby weight, not having the time or the energy to do anything about it. Her body looked much different now than it did a year ago. Her stomach and thighs were bigger (so were her breasts but she didn't think that would bother him) and for the first time with Harry she felt uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" he asked, eyes drawn back to her face as he sensed her stiffen.

She bit her lip for a moment before answering. "I'm big," she said. "I'm not in the shape I was because of Hannah. I'm sorry."

"No," he said firmly, index finger covering her lips. "You are not apologising. You are beautiful, and just because you have a little extra weight because of carrying Hannah doesn't change that in the slightest. In fact, I think you're more beautiful than ever."

"Harry…"

"I mean it," he whispered. Leaning in he kissed her deeply until she forgot to be nervous about her body. Gently pushing her back on the bed, he kissed his way down her body as she shivered delightfully. He took her nipple into his mouth for half a second but she pushed him away.

"No," she said quickly. "I can't… because I'm breast feeding Hannah…I'll start... milk, you know..."

"Okay," he whispered, stroking her ribcage. "We'll save that for another time then." He kissed the underneath of her breasts and he grinned cheekily at her as she smiled back. Reaching for him she pressed her palms to his back, wanting to feel bare skin. Needing to have their chests touching. She pulled at the fabric impatiently, trying to remove it with limited success. "You're impatient," he said.

"I need to see you," she whispered. They both worked on his shirt buttons, hands touching each other as the material parted and their eyes stayed locked together. So much was passed in that gaze. Love and trust, passion and desire, want and need. Eventually Harry shrugged out of his shirt and Ruth let her palms run over his chest, her fingers brushing over the fine soft hair that covered his body. The muscles under her hands felt tense, and she knew that keeping still and not touching her was a hard feat for him, making her feel more desirable than she had in years. With her index finger she traced his body lower, until she got to his belt. Slowly she raised her eyes as her hand stayed at the buckle, looking over every inch of him. When her eyes reached his, she kept the contact as her hands pulled his belt from his trousers. Throwing it to the floor, the clip of the buckle was as loud as the thundering of their hearts in the silence of the room.

"Ruth, I love you," he whispered. She smiled and kissed him, her heart full as their bare naked chests pressed against each other. Their hands both worked at the other's remaining clothing and incredibly quickly they were both naked and shivering.

"Are you cold?"

"No," she said, eyes bright and eager. He smirked and pushed her flat on the bed and gently pushed her thighs apart. He kissed the inside of her knee and painfully slowly went higher up the inside of her leg. She was aching to feel him against her wetness but he was insistent on avoiding where she most wanted to be touched. Where she _needed_ to be touched. Her breathing came shallow and she closed her eyes just as he reached the apex of her thighs. Then he moved to her other leg to start the process again.

"Harry…" she moaned quietly. "Please."

"Patience," he said with a grin, his voice echoing off of her skin. He moved higher so slowly that Ruth wanted to scream. _Come on!_ Eventually he reached her folds and he licked her deliciously. She arched her back to try and get closer and he flicked her clitoris with his tongue. Her hands laced in his hair urging him on as he brought her to dizzying heights, so close to climax. She was panting now, and Harry knew he was pushing her towards orgasm. He pushed two fingers inside her and stroked her inner walls, trying to find how she liked being touched. Ruth jerked as he found her most sensitive spot and then he sucked her clitoris. She came powerfully, her hand over her mouth to muffle her cry, so it emerged as a squeak rather than anything else.

"Don't," he said. "I want to hear you moan and cry out with pleasure," he said, removing her hand from her mouth. "I want to hear you scream my name and shriek in ecstasy. Don't try and hide it."

"I'm not going to cry out," she said firmly. "Not tonight." She looked at him and saw disappointment on his face, so she added to that statement. "I am not going to moan loudly because its very likely to disturb the baby sleeping next door. And one thing I do not want to do right now is stop what we're doing because the baby wakes up. That's why. Not because I'm not enjoying what you're doing to me. I _really_ am."

"A much better explanation," he agreed. In the heat of the moment he'd completely forgotten there was a baby in the next room. All he wanted was to hear Ruth scream and cry and groan. Well, maybe next time. He groaned quietly as Ruth wrapped her hand around his hardness. She ran her fingers along his length, back and forth as he shuddered against her, his head resting on her collarbone. "Oh do that again Ruth," he whispered against her breast. She smiled and did, eliciting a sigh from him. "I need to be inside you." She pushed her hips upwards in invitation and he smiled warmly at her, before leaning in and kissing her leisurely. She could taste herself on his tongue, but it only spurred her on. This man wanted and needed her so badly. He pushed into her slightly, hovering at her entrance, only just inside her.

"Please," she urged, her hands on his bum, trying to pull him closer. He moved within her very slowly, letting her feel every inch of him. With every movement she sighed or gasped. She wrapped her legs around him, her heels digging into his back. He pushed inside her completely and she moaned, her eyes closed tightly.

"Look at me Ruth," he said. "Open your eyes." His palm rested on her cheek as her eyes flickered open. Moving inside her she groaned.

"You feel so good," she whispered. He withdrew slowly, making her arch up to meet him before he thrust inside her hard. "Oh! Christ alive Harry."

He kissed her neck. "I'm not going to be able to last long. I'm sorry," he murmured against her heated skin.

"Don't apologise," she breathed. "Just… oh god yes!" He gripped her waist and pushed into her hard. Ruth felt completely unaware of what her body was doing, just concentrating on the electric sensations between them. How good he felt with every thrust inside her. Why had it taken them so long to get here? His thrusts came quicker and quicker, making her body spasm and he came powerfully, his lips on her neck, sucking hard. Probably marking her delicate skin. His orgasm pulled her into her second of the night and she mewled quietly.

Harry collapsed on her, completely spent and his weight felt so solid and comforting on top of her. Ruth wondered if she'd ever been more comfortable, almost feeling like she was sinking into the mattress, Harry on top of her body, his touch everywhere on her body. Endless minutes later Harry pulled away from her, almost having to peel himself off of her, their sweat covered bodies having stuck together. "Sorry," he said. "I don't mean to squash you."

"Mm, it felt nice," she said slowly, a lazy smile on her face. He kissed her softly and then pulled the duvet over the pair of them.

"Remind me to thank Hannah in the morning for not waking up during that," Harry said. Ruth chuckled as she'd been thinking the same thing herself. She was about to say something but the words never came. Instead she fell asleep, Harry's hand on her waist.


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you so much for the reviews. This story is now coming to an end, so it's just this chapter and the epilogue to go.**

* * *

Ruth awoke to the sound of a baby gearing up for a loud and ear splitting cry. She got up, Harry's hand falling from her chest and covered herself with a dressing gown quickly. She didn't want him to wake so she very quickly picked her daughter up, knowing she was hungry. "Come on baby, here we go." Hannah latched on hungrily and Ruth sat down in the rocking chair and looked at the clock. Five in the morning. She'd miraculously slept through the night. What perfect timing.

When Hannah had finished feeding, Ruth simply held her, admiring her face and her beautiful eyes. She was so completely gorgeous. Ruth struggled to believe she'd manage to create a little life so perfect. "Morning."

Ruth looked up and saw Harry leaning against the doorframe, a very self satisfied and smug look on his face. He wore his trousers but nothing else and Ruth struggled not to focus on his face. "There's no need to look so pleased with yourself," she said.

"Last night I managed to sleep with the woman I've been in love with for years," he said. "I'm not going to apologise for looking happy." He walked into the room and kissed Ruth's cheek. "And how is the little princess?"

"She's good," Ruth said, stifling a yawn. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Doesn't matter," he said. "Do you want breakfast?"

"Please," Ruth said. "You're perfect."

"I am far from perfect," he said honestly. "I just love you both." Ruth smiled. "Can I borrow your shower before cooking?"

"Of course you can," she said with a smile. "I wish I could share it with you but I have a baby to look after."

"Shame," Harry said with a grin. "I'd have enjoyed that." Ruth blushed slightly as he left the room and then turned to Hannah.

"Come on baby," Ruth said. "Lets get you changed and dressed. I'm sure you'll look like an angel in that blue dress won't you? Come on." Ruth spent the next half hour dressing both herself and Hannah. When she went downstairs, baby in her arms she found Harry cooking bacon. Unfortunately fully dressed now, though his shirt sleeves were rolled up and a few buttons undone at his throat. Ruth bit her lip, reminded that she couldn't pounce on him by the baby in her arms. Ruth put the baby in her carry cot, made sure she was safe and then turned to Harry, wrapping her arms around his waist and breathing him in.

"Mm," she said as she smelt her soap on his skin mixed with a masculine scent that was so uniquely Harry. He smelt so good. Harry took the bacon off of the cooker and turned to face her.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Yes actually," she said with a smile. "I love the way you smell."

"I borrowed your soap and shampoo," he said. "Hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all," she said. She kissed him passionately and felt him smiling against her lips.

"Gaa!"

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Harry said, barely giving Ruth a second glance as he went to pick up Hannah. "You don't like being ignored? I wouldn't worry about that, we couldn't forget you if you tried." Harry kept cooing over the baby while Ruth finished making their breakfasts. Putting them on the table Ruth found tears in her eyes, watching Harry with her daughter. It was such a beautiful sight.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked as he caught her eye.

"Yeah," she said. "Happy tears. I'm an emotional wreck." She sat down. "You just look so right with her."

"I love her," Harry said. "I think she's going to have brown eyes though."

"Hmm?"

"They're getting darker," Harry said simply. "Look at her." Ruth did and saw that he might have a point.

"She's only six weeks old, they can't be getting brown already," Ruth said, taking a bite of her bacon sandwich.

Harry shrugged and kissed the top of Hannah's head. "You're beautiful no matter what, aren't you? And your mummy." Ruth smiled at him and watched as he tried to hold the baby and eat at the same time. It proved difficult and he gave up, sipping his tea instead. Ruth adored how much he loved Hannah, how he'd give up his breakfast rather than put her down.

"Live with me," Ruth said suddenly. "Don't drop her!" she added at the look of complete shock on his face. The usual mask of Harry Pearce had fallen completely away, showing the man beneath.

"I wouldn't drop her!" he said indignantly. "Your mum is so silly," he said, putting her back down in her carry cot and then staring at Ruth, mouth open slightly. "You want me to move in with you?"

"If you want to," she said, suddenly nervous that she'd made the wrong move. "You're here all the time anyway, you adore Hannah and I love you. Over the last year, we've been through so much together. I want you with me as much as possible, especially because I'm a realist. I know in this job either of us could die."

"Ruth…"

"Let me finish," she said firmly. "I want to treasure every day that we're together. It's been far too long coming Harry. And I want you here. As long as you do too."

"I can't believe you're asking me to live with you."

"Is that okay?" Ruth asked, her nervousness coming to the foreground.

"I'd love to," he said fervently. "I'd… love to live with you both."

"Really?"

"Of course I would," he said. Ruth smiled with relief and happiness. He kissed her deeply, quickly and thoroughly, leaving her breathless. "I love you."

"Say that again," Ruth said with a smile.

He moved so he could whisper in her ear. "I." He kissed her jaw. "Love." He bit her earlobe gently. "You." He pushed his tongue into her ear and she shivered with delight, her eyes closed as she revelled in the sensations he was giving her.

"I love you too."


	18. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

* * *

"Where's daddy?" Hannah asked, her dark eyes bright as she looked at her mum.

"Parking the car," Ruth said. "Don't worry, he'll catch up. You only have little legs." She giggled delightfully as Ruth held her daughters hand tightly. Sure enough within a minute or two, Harry appeared, smiling at them. He kissed Ruth briefly and ruffled Hannah's long brown hair.

"Daddy!"

"Hello sweetheart," he said, handing her the bread bag, as they were off to feed the ducks, one of Hannah's favourite past times. Ruth felt Hannah dragging on her arm towards the lake in the middle of the park. She knew where she was going all to well. Ruth couldn't get a word in until they'd reached the water, and Hannah leaned up against the railings, already breaking bits of bread off. She knew well enough that she wasn't to go wandering away from her parents, so Harry and Ruth sat on the waiting bench and watched Hannah feed the ducks. Her childish joy was wonderful to watch and it didn't get old. Ruth smiled at her as Harry reached for her hand and squeezed gently.

"She's loving school isn't she?" Harry said.

"Are you kidding, she never shuts up about it," Ruth said. "She's wonderful." Hannah had only been at school for about two months and she had loved every minute of it. Harry reached for Ruth and kissed her neck gently and too erotically for a public place. She shivered and not from the November wind. She'd noticed that ever since he'd decided to retire he was more loving than ever, especially in public. They both knew it was the right time for him to go and all he was doing was training up his replacement. By new year he would be officially retired. They were both looking forward to it immensely.

Ruth herself still worked on the grid, with the proviso that she didn't do overtime and was home by a reasonable hour. She didn't want to miss any time with her daughter. It had worked so far, except for one memorable occasion when the London eye had been blown up and fallen into the Thames. Yes, that was a bad occasion, she thought to herself.

"Mummy! Swans!" Ruth smiled as Hannah saw two white elegant birds drifting towards her on the water. Absent mindedly she twisted her wedding ring around her finger. She'd married Harry only a few months ago in a quiet ceremony with Hannah being the flower girl. She still wasn't used to there being an extra ring on her finger.

"You're worried," Harry stated.

"No, I'm thinking," she said honestly. Harry took her hand again, and didn't let go.

"Are you wondering how to tell me that you're pregnant?" Harry asked conversationally.

"What?"

"Are you wondering…"

"I heard you, I just can't believe what you said," she breathed. "I'm not sure," she added. "I don't know if I am yet. I'm… scared to take the pregnancy test." Ruth had stopped taking her birth control when Hannah turned two, around the time Harry had proposed. She wanted another child but nothing had happened. Ruth had taken more than a dozen pregnancy tests over the years but they'd always been negative. So this time, when her symptoms had started, she hadn't dared take a test. Because if it was negative it would break her heart, so she'd tried not to think about it.

"Well I know that you are," he said quietly. "Your period is three weeks late now, your breasts are becoming slightly fuller again and more sensitive than usual. Plus, if that wasn't enough you've been throwing up in the mornings before the alarm goes off and trying to hide it from me. And the amount of brown sauce you're adding to every meal is just disgusting."

"You're too bloody observant for your own good," Ruth said, shaking her head as she watched Hannah feed the ducks.

"I thought… I thought you wanted a baby with me," he said, hurt by her lack of enthusiasm.

"No, I do," she said forcefully, tearing her eyes away from Hannah to look at him. "I really do," she added, seeing the doubt in his eyes. "I'm scared. To take the pregnancy test, because if it tells me I'm not expecting…" She sighed heavily. "It's better to live in hope, then to be told a firm no. I… couldn't bear the disappointment Harry. That's why I look so scared."

"Oh Ruth," he said quietly. He never got any further because Hannah jumped on his lap, pouting at him. "What's wrong gorgeous?"

"They've taken all the bread," she said. Hannah knew how this went and before Harry could even say a word, she'd reached into his jacket pocket and got the two slices of bread that Harry had held back on purpose. Breadcrumbs were found in every jacket he owned now. "Thank you daddy!" Hannah darted off to the water again and kept throwing the bread to the ducks, her happy laughing sounding wonderful through the cold air of the morning.

"So you're not unhappy?" Harry asked.

"No," she said. "Why do you think I kept Hannah's baby clothes if I didn't want another child? And her cot? And all the blankets and other paraphernalia that comes with a baby. I want another child, and I want one with you. I just… its been so unfair. I got pregnant after one stupid night. And with you we've been trying for years. I don't want to get my hopes up. That's why I look so upset Harry."

"I understand," he said. And he honestly did. It had been hard for him too, wanting a child with her so badly and all the constant negative pregnancy tests. At one point he wondered if she was still on the pill without telling him. But then he felt so guilty when she'd been crying about yet again not falling pregnant. He had been wondering why she'd not told him, but if she was scared, that would explain it. He kissed her softly and when they broke apart she was smiling. "You know you are don't you?"

"I'm fairly sure," she admitted.

"We're going to have to tell Hannah she's getting a brother or sister," Harry said eagerly. "Don't worry, its all going to be fine."

"I know that," Ruth said with a smile. "I have you." Harry smiled back at her warmly. Hannah jumped on Ruth's lap and she stroked her daughters hair. "And I have you too," Ruth said.

"Mummy?"

"You're a good girl Hannah," Ruth said. She smiled.

"I like ducks."

"We're not having a pet duck, you've already got your cat at home," Harry said firmly. Hannah pouted in a way that reminded Ruth of the way Harry looked sometimes. Even though it was genetically impossible.

"Come on sweetheart, lets go home."

"Okay," Hannah said. She hoped up and skipped ahead of them happily. Harry put his hand firmly on Ruth's stomach.

"Are you happy?"

"Very." She smiled at him before they walked off, following Hannah through the park.

* * *

**The End. Thank you for everyone who has read, and especially reviewed. Hope this is a satisfying ending. Also, to those who don't know, with this fic I have passed 1 million words on this website. That's a lot of Harry and Ruth! **


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